Featured photo: Fernando García

1. A German doesn’t “cut school or work…he “makes blue” (Blau machen).

2. A German doesn’t “beat someone up”…he “mixes someone up” (Jemanden aufmischen).

3. A German doesn’t “make fun of you”…he “pulls you through the cacao” (Jemanden durch den Kakao ziehen).

4. It’s not “all Greek to a German”…he “only understands train station” (Nur Bahnhof verstehen).

5. A German doesn’t “turn you down” if you ask for a date…he will “give you a basket” (Einen Korb geben).

6. A German doesn’t have “a skeleton in his closet”…he has “dirt on the stick” (Dreck am Stecken haben).

7. A German woman does not have a “nice rack”…she has “a lot of wood in front of her shack” (Ordentlich Holz vor der Hütte haben).

8. A German is not just “slow on the uptake”…he has “a plank in front of his head” (Ein Brett vorm Kopf haben).

9. A German doesn’t “bite the dust”…he “bites the grass” (Ins Gras beißen).

10. Alternatively, he “hands in the spoon” (Den Löffel abgeben).

11. A German doesn’t “get on your nerves”…he “gets on your cookie” (Auf den Keks gehen).

12. A German doesn’t “commit a blunder”…he “steps in a bowl of grease” (Ins Fettnäpfchen treten).

13. A German doesn’t have a “sharp tongue”…he “has hair on his teeth” (Haare auf den Zähnen haben).

14. A German husband is not “henpecked”…he is a “slipper hero” (Pantoffelheld).

15. A German doesn’t “overcome his weaker self”…he overcomes his “inner pig-dog” (Den inneren Schweinehund überwinden).

16. A German doesn’t make “a mountain out of a mole hill”…he makes an “elephant out of a mosquito” (Aus einer Mücke einen Elefanten machen).

17. A German doesn’t have to “chose between the devil and the deep blue sea“… he has to “chose between pestilence and cholera” (Die Wahl zwischen Pest und Cholera haben).

18. A German is not told to “go jump in a lake“…he is told to “go where the pepper grows” (Geh doch dahin, wo der Pfeffer wächst).

19. A German is not “friggin’ blind”…he has “tomatoes on his eyes” (Tomaten auf den Augen haben).