Photo: Tita77/Shutterstock

It's Not Autumn in Colorado Unless These 11 Things Happen

by Tim Wenger Oct 2, 2016

1. You wake up mid-dream in a cold sweat, feet spread three feet apart, clutching your bedpost and dreaming of powder.

Six long weeks now. . .

2. SNIAGRAB. . .wait, not anymore.

We’re going to have to settle for Ski Rex now, and this is the main thing that sucks about Sports Authority closing.

3. You have to make a stressful decision – the Epic or the SuperPass?

It’s time to make the biggest decision of the year- which friends do you want to see in the next seven months?

4. The new transplants finally understand what ‘shoulder season’ means.

Don’t worry. It’s normal for your tips to go down from $300 a night to $60. It’ll pick back up again. Just hope you saved some money this summer.

5. You close the window in your bedroom.

Time to dust off the fan.

6. You take stock of your dinner and realize that everything was grown within a few hours of where you’re eating it.

Harvest season is finally here. Palisade, Olathe, Pueblo, and your patio garden are all mixed together in front of you, like a smorgasbord of Colorado’s awesomeness.

7. You get stuck behind a Suburban, stopped in lane, on a mountain road.

You approach to ask if they need help or if something is wrong. But no, they’re just trying to take a photo of that grove of trees changing color up ahead.

8. But the colors are incredibly beautiful and you often find yourself tempted to stop.

It would just be so much better if people got out of their car to view them.

9. The routine question of “What are you doing this weekend?” is further specified to “Where are you watching the Broncos on Sunday?”

Get into the routine and stick to it. Alternate between watching at bars and houses because cost is an issue. Take an Uber. Don’t wash your jersey until the BYE week.

10. You’ve gotten your fill of camping, and now have several free upcoming weekends.

Staying in town for more than a week at a time takes some getting used to, but it is nice to sleep for once.

11. Everyone completely forgets that we have a baseball team.

Nolan who?

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