What Bartenders Actually Think of Your Drink Order

Old-Fashioned: You recognize the value in hard work, and hold the reward for that hard work in high regard.

Bailey’s on the rocks: You still live at home with your parents.

Moscato: You’re just ordering this ‘cause you heard it in a Drake song (p.s. it is a sweet Italian wine).

Bacardi 151 for friends: You’re a dick.

Bacardi 151 for yourself: There’s something wrong with you.

Demand something free: You are with a group of squealing girls wearing tiaras and/or matching shirts and will tip poorly (if at all).

Long Island Iced Tea: Your ID is fake and you are here to get white-girl wasted.

Apple-Tini: You hate the taste of alcohol.

Whatever’s cheap: (In my head: you!). This is an sign that you won’t be tipping either.

Jameson: You know what you’re doing.

Cosmopolitan: You’re aging, lack imagination, and have watched too much SATC.

White Russian: You have never worked in a bar before, so you have a fool-hearted confidence that the milk in the cooler is not expired.