Photo: Alexey Andr Tkachenko/Shutterstock

What Bartenders Actually Think of Your Drink Order

by Lisa Millar-Jones Apr 15, 2016

Shot of well Tequila: You are emotionally unstable.

Don Julio on the rocks: You too know what you’re doing.

Patron Margarita: You wish to spend $15 on a drink that will taste exactly the same as a $7 drink.

Champagne for everyone: You have too much money and don’t know what to do with it.

Hennessy and Coke: “Can you guys play some rap music?”

PBR: Hipsters don’t tip.

Alize in a snifter: “Oh, you (think you’re) fancy, huh?”

Amaretto sour: You’re a female who never knew what to order, so a bartender made it for you once and now you order it all the time because it’s the only drink you know how to order.

1 Candy Apple, 2 Porn Stars, 1 Sour Jack…: “Are you fucking with me?!” You are the bane of my existence.

Gin & Juice: “Sure buddy, is Snoop Dogg shooting a music video in here that I’m not aware of?”

A Hi-Ball: It’s your first time in a bar, you heard they were on special, but you have no idea what a hi-ball is. But you still ask the bartender for a “Hi-Ball.”

Caesar: You’re hungover.

Bottle of Rosé: You cry during sex.

Compiled by Lisa Millar-Jones from the bartenders at Caprice Nightclub and republished by permission.

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