Shot of well Tequila: You are emotionally unstable.
Don Julio on the rocks: You too know what you’re doing.
Patron Margarita: You wish to spend $15 on a drink that will taste exactly the same as a $7 drink.
Champagne for everyone: You have too much money and don’t know what to do with it.
Hennessy and Coke: “Can you guys play some rap music?”
PBR: Hipsters don’t tip.