–SO I WAS DRUNK in the bed of a moving truck last night… Hit a speed bump and somehow rearranged my face.. Cut, blood, whiskey hangover…
–worth it just for the drunk midgets
–definitely hooker spit. definitely poor choices. definitely hungover.
–Getting ready to meet my friend for some chicken wings, beer and football, in Farmville.
–got shitty drunk with my husband last night and for the first time said sorry for intentionally running someone over with my car
–i’m going to feel so bad for my twitter when i look at it and i drunk tweeted myself…
–it feels wrong to go to church hungover
–My butler George says his hangover is probably caused by the the bottle of champagne he drank after his usual bottle of Scotch and 10 beers.
–some fat old drunk guy broke into our house and tried to fight everybody.
–apparently being drunk, and riding a tricycle, can still get you a DUI.
–Now I know why those shots were called blue eyed blondes. They’ll kick you in the face and steal all your money.
–i’m not sure if which was worse, getting robbed or a 52 year old drunk man in my house at 3 am trying to sell weed. i hate this street.
–I learned a valuable lesson last night — never get drunk on an open tab. I’m sure there are more lessons to be learned from last night.