1. Two words: Open container.
2. We’re too cool for counties. We do parishes.
3. We gave you Mardi Gras.
4. And Reese Witherspoon, Jared Leto, Ellen DeGeneres, Jared Leto, Tyler Perry, Jared Leto, Harry Connick, Jr., and did we mention JARED LETO?
5. And jazz! And Satchmo! If you even have to ask…
6. We are the Festival Capital of America with 400 festivals every year. Happy Contraband Days Pirate Festival, ya’ll.
7. We also have the Crawfish Capital of the World in Breaux Bridge — that means we’re the best at sucking heads and pinching tails.
9. We have cool words that are pronounced nothing like they’re spelled, like Natchitoches (pronounced nah-kuh-tish) and Burgundy (bur-gun-dee) and Tchoupitoulas (chop-uh-tool-us).
10. We have the tallest capitol building in the United States — 450 feet tall with 34 floors. Take that, D.C.!
11. We have the longest bridge over water in the US — 24 miles. It used to be the longest in the world, but not anymore. Thanks a lot, China.
12. We fry everything. EVERYTHING!
14. If you flash your private parts, we give you gifts. Plastic beads, ya’ll. Plastic beads.
15. In 1803, the US bought us from France for $15 million and 13 states were made from the Louisiana Territory. So, essentially you 13 states should be kissing our a** right now because without us you wouldn’t exist!
16. We’ve been slammed 86 times by hurricanes with deceptively innocent names like Camille, Katrina, Betsy and Andrew — and we’re still standing.
17. The New Orleans Saints won only one Super Bowl, but that win meant more to us than all of the other Super Bowl wins combined! Who dat!
18. Our accent is so much sexier than Bahston, New Yawk, or that bland Midwest thing.
19. Two words. BRITNEY. SPEARS. (mic drop)