1. Your Instagram feed is filled with airport pictures of peoples’ feet on the PDX Carpet. 2. You take PDX Carpet pics…and cry because the new carpet isn’t as retro. 3. Your hardest daily decision is Kombucha, Stumptown, or Starbucks. 4. …and which microbrew you’re in the mood for. 5. …and which food cart to go to for lunch…yet you eat at the same one every single day. 6. You drive a Car2Go to an Über rally. 7. You realize you’re becoming friends with the homeless population under the Burnside Bridge. 8. You hear, “Doors to my right. Esta es un tren de la línea azul a Gresham.” 9. You see more bike lanes than car lanes. 10. …and you’re stuck in traffic behind a pack of cyclists. 11. You know the Timbers Army is not a militia of Lumberjacks, but a badass soccer team. 12. You know that Rip City is not just a place, but a legendary way of life. 13. You can cross the Willamette River every day for two weeks and never use the same bridge. 14. You see the sign for the Oregon Zoo and Forestry Center and your stomach does a childish flip flop. 15. You get offended when people ask if your glasses are fake. Even if they are. 16. You feel out of place without a beard or Birkenstocks. 17. …and intimidated when every runner looks like they came out of a Nike ad. 18. You know someone who knows someone who knows someone who will just maybe get you into the Nike Employee Store.