1.

Ya better toss yer skates in yer car today. Temperature is supposed to dip below -30 with the windchill, and the road salt won’t work after last night’s ice storm. Oh, and oopsy daisy. I fergot to charge your car battery last night. If you need anything, I’ll be playing Yahtzee with the girls at the VFW.

2.

What would ya like for dinner? I’m thinkin’ my famous Tator tot hotdish or Spam and fried potatoes. Hmmmm, never mind. Looks like I’ve got a whole buncha cheese, chicken, venison and leftover goulash in the ice box. Hotdish it is!

3.

Oh shush. The hockey puck barely scraped you. Once this here nice doc staples yer noggin’ back together you can get right back on that ice now, eh? Sally Jo’s boy Sven had four teeth knocked out last week and he didn’t even take a break!

4.

Pack our baaaaaaygs, kids! We’re heading ‘up north’ for the 4th of July. Lake Winnibigoshish, fresh walleye, pulltabs and Uncle Liam’s moonshine – here we come!

5.

Get on your coats and load up. We’re heading to church for the annual Lutefisk dinner. Oh, and please grab five jars of my pickled eggs from the cellar. They’ll make fer a nice trimming.

6.

Jeez Louise, stop drinkin’ so much pop. It rots your teeth, dontcha know!

7.

Skol Vikings! And we’re gonna get those durn Packers this year too. They say we’ve been doing some real good rebuilding.

8.

Leave the winter coats at home kids! The news says it is gonna be 40 degrees today. Has anyone seen my khaki Daacker shorts?

9.

Holy buckets! That blizzard dropped four feet of snow on us, the roads are durn near buried, and school’s still not canceled! Heck, could be worse. Get in your snowsuits and grab the rope and sled. I’ll pull ya to school with the 4-wheeler.

10.

If you touch my Purple Rain again I’ll go John Randle on your tush, ya hear? The great Prince will always be my king.

View 1 comment