1. Because once they experience the neon putt-putt course at Glowing Greens, there’s a chance that they will never be satisfied with the strip-mall course you have back at home.
2. Because the last time you took your daughter to a world-class science museum as engaging as OMSI, she wouldn’t stop complaining about how she couldn’t wait ten more years to start working on her degree in astrophysics.
3. Because the Formula 1 simulators at the World of Speed will encourage your kids to think that they can drive better than you can — and there are enough backseat drivers in this world.
4. Because you are afraid that once they check out the vast collection at Excalibur Books and Comics, they might never want to stop reading.
5. Because your family are gluttons for blueberries, raspberries, blackberries and every other berry under the sun, and there’s no rule about how many pounds of fruity goodness you can walk away with from the many u-pick farms on Sauvie Island. Expect bellyaches!
6. Because riding in a frilled 6-seater Kerr Bike with the whole extended family along the Willamette River is just too whimsical.
7. Because the Kennedy School Hotel’s family-friendly outdoor soaking pool will result in too much joyous splashing for the winter months.
8. Because the sounds you would make on the Scream’n Eagle at Oaks Park would make your kids find you wayyy too relatable.
9. Because an epic bike ride along Forest Park’s fire trail might leave your kids feeling like the great outdoors is the truest source of freedom.
10. Because, seriously, Portland just wants your kids to have too much fun while learning. Case in point: the Portland Children’s Museum Water Works exhibit, which teaches younger kids about everything from the tides, to hydraulics with a massive system of interactive fountains.
11. Because after visiting the Portland Saturday Market, the largest arts-and-crafts fair in the country, your kids might spend the next three months weaving baskets and carving wooden toys to sell to their friends at school.
12. Because the screams of joy when you take your family floating down the Sandy River at Glenn Otto Community Park might cost you your hearing at an early age. But heck, you know all of this is still worth it.
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