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12 Ways to Mess Up Your First Date With a Wisconsinite

by Katie Hinkfuss Aug 1, 2017

1. Wear a Cubs or Bears jersey.

Wearing the enemy’s colors is a great way to start things off on the wrong foot.

2. Say you’re lactose intolerant.

We are not trying to be intolerant towards the intolerant, but know that we have one and a half drawers full of cheese in our fridge.

3. Smirk if we say bag/dragon/flag.

It is okay to find our accents endearingly adorable, but not to openly laugh or make fun of us.

4. Imply that Wisconsin must be boring and backwards.

We will be the first to admit it. Wisconsin has its fair share of people with whom you wouldn’t trust your houseplant when you go out of town, but despite that, it really has a lot going for it. Just visit it in the summer, okay?

5. Confuse our passion for the Packers with obsession.

We are not obsessed. The Packers are just one of the most important things ever. And we may or may not spend half the date talking about them. Just deal with it.

6. Be rude to the wait staff.

Don’t do that. Wisconsinites are known for being friendly and we like spending time with other friendly people. Also, if we ask them where they are from and how their weekend is going, we are not flirting or prying. It’s called being nice.

7. Order Budweiser.

I’m not saying it has to be Miller, but let’s have some standards, alright?

8. Be too uptight or rushed.

Chill out. Life is too short to be stressed all the time.

9. Mix up Midwestern cities.

We get that Minneapolis has a lot in common with Milwaukee, but they are completely different cities — as well as in completely different states. Start the conversation out with, “I’ve been to Wisconsin, Minneapolis. It’s really great!” and you will see our smiles turn to frowns.

10. Ask if Wisconsin has an NBA team.

The Milwaukee Bucks haven’t won a championship since 1971, but we have a great collection of young talent so we know that you will be eating your words soon…

11. 0rder American cheese on your burger.

This is a more serious error than not eating cheese at all — and it’s a great way to make us cringe and start second-guessing any romantic chemistry that we thought was there.

12. Ask if Milwaukee is a suburb of Chicago.

Although metropolitan Milwaukee and the greater Chicago area share many common interests and are located in the same economic corridor, it doesn’t mean we are Chicago’s suburb. We are neighbors — with lots of other smaller cities and towns in between. We understand that when traveling abroad it is just easier to say you are from Chicago so people can locate you on a mental map. But if you have grown up or spent a significant amount of time in the states, you should brush up on your geography.

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