1. The French don’t say “giving a blowjob”, they say “carving a pipe” (Tailler une pipe).

2. The French don’t say “make things simpler!”, they say “no need to wiggle your ass around to shit straight!” (Pas besoin de tortiller du cul pour chier droit).

3. The French don’t say “you’re drunk”, they say “you’re buttered” (Être beurré).

4. The French don’t say “it’s a bit dumb”, they say “it’s daisy-height” (Ras les pâquerettes).

5. The French don’t “make things worse”, they “move the knife around in the wound” (Remuer le couteau dans la plaie).

6. The French don’t say “he is a liar”, they say “he lies like a tooth-puller” (Mentir comme un arracheur de dents).

7. The French don’t “have trouble doing something”, they “pedal in couscous” (Pédaler dans le couscous). Alternatively, some people “pedal in sauerkraut” (Pédaler dans la choucroute).

8. The French are not “out of their minds”, they “smoke the carpet” (Fumer la moquette).

9. The French don’t say “he is dead”, they say “he eats dandelions starting at the root” (Manger les pissenlits par la racine).

10. The French don’t say “it sounds like bad news”, they say “it smells like fir tree” (Ça sent le sapin).

11. The French don’t say “it’s turning nasty”, they say “it’s turning into blood-sausage water” (Tourner en eau de boudin).

12. The French don’t say “you’re soaked”, they say “you’re as wet as soup” (Être tremper comme une soupe).

13. The French don’t say “this movie was bad”, they say “it’s a turnip” (Un navet).

14. The French don’t say something is “far-fetched”, they say “it’s pulled by the hair” (Tiré par les cheveux).

15. The French don’t say “it’s impossible to accomplish”, they say “it’s like trying to fit a camel through the eye of a needle” (Faire passer un chameau par le chas d’une aiguille).

16. The French don’t say “he’s lost his mind”, they say “his coffeemaker is playing yo-yo” (Yoyoter de la cafetière).

17. The French don’t say “he is gullible”, they say “you make can him swallow grass snakes” (Faire avaler des couleuvres à quelqu’un).