1. We always wear ranch-style fashion, down to the Justins.
No, only during Rodeo Week. And the Fourth of July. And other major holidays. And Tuesdays.
2. We all have guns.
Nope — but we’re number one in gun ownership in the US. Yeehaw!
3. We want a wall dividing our state from Mexico.
Quite the opposite — the majority of us welcome the healthy trade and cultural exchange.
4. We’re dyed-in-the-wool conservatives.
No, we’re growing more purple by the minute.
5. We can’t swim.
Wrong again. We all have pools.
6. We all speak Spanish.
Well, that’s partially true. We all speak at least some (bad) Spanish.
7. We’re actually from here.
Nope! Way less than half the population is native-born.
8. We ride horses to work.
Probably safer than driving, but no.
9. We enjoy the (dry) heat.
Make the inferno stop! Please!
10. We’re cautious about cacti. And snakes.
11. Our Native American population lives in tipis.
12. We’re passable drivers.
Hell no — we’re the worst! Just add rain or snow, sit back on the front patio, watch, and laugh.
13. Our sunglasses and flip-flops are removable.
14. We’re all tan, all the time.
15. We all reside in beige houses in Phoenix, on golf courses.
16. We know what to do in a natural disaster.
Wrong. We only know what to do in the event of a flash flood.
17. We’re all over 65 years of age.
Nope! ASU, NAU, and UA are not filled with AARP members.