While many Alaskan moms are quite conservative in general, the climate often dictates otherwise. Mom is never impressed with the idea of sitting in a cold vehicle.
The Alaskan mom is a sucker for a good fire. Especially if it’s cold outside and most specifically, if she’s cold. Alaskan kids learn early, “There is never enough firewood.” And, it’s our job to haul it from point A to point B.
Considering winters are long and dark, and kids go bonkers when cooped up in the house for days on end, the reality is quite opposite. Most of us are raised to the tune of, “Get outside now.” There are few exceptions to this rule. When it’s time for dinner, homework, bed OR the odd occasion a four-footed wild creature invades the yard.
Alaska moms, along with every other sane human, comprehend the fantastic absurdity of this situation. Particularly so in the dead of winter. Younger, fashion conscious Alaskans on the other hand— not so much.
Another Alaskan rule of thumb. Always bring an extra pair of socks (and make sure they’re the wool ones.) You just never know.
What mother of any species would want her offspring standing next to a complete stranger for a photo.
Alaska moms know and deeply understand the whole “really red reds are for the young ‘uns to practice fishing with” paradigm. They cheer and praise when their progeny get to say, “FISH ON! I caught ‘em in the mouth mom!!” Alaska moms do this because they understand catching the old, cancer laden, half dead salmon is the only way kids develop an angling prowess and will eventually work their way up to catching the real deal. What isn’t much appreciated is when the young sprouts can’t grasp why ‘the red ones’ are not acceptable dinner fodder. The Alaska Moms’ School of Fishing and Hard Knocks has some serious downers for the age 5 and below troop.
If an Alaska mom actually says this, it will be with exasperated sarcasm. Who wants to deal with a laundry pile that includes sopping wet stinky socks? And what mom doesn’t relish having their kid splash mud-puddle water all over her clean pants.
Shoveling the driveway is one of those ‘top-of-the-list’ kid chores for winter. There’s just no getting out of it unless we’re dying or dead and even then, we might be told to “Walk it off and go shovel it anyway.” Alaska moms mean business when it comes to having a snow free driveway.
This is along the same vein as the firewood and driveway shoveling situation. There are steps and procedures and they get followed to a T. First, there is shoveling. Next, there is sand and gravel throwing. The facts of life are: the driveway always has spots that need more sand and gravel in winter.
Seasonally speaking, the ‘when’ here is irrelevant. It’s always the right time to make a fire. This is Alaska.
Alaska moms are notorious packers. If left to them, everyone would have one extra of everything, including a can of bug spray in each pocket. Maybe that’s slightly dramatic. However, one can be certain when an Alaska mom is involved in the equation, there is a can of bug spray stationed at each entrance and every other strategic location in the vicinity. The mosquitos must not win under any circumstance.
If there were a state competition for the largest number of vehicles on the road with “wash me” drawn by finger into the dirt on their hoods and doors, Alaska would likely be the biggest contender. As every Alaska kid knows— washing mom’s car is the fastest way to butter her up to get her in a ‘yes’ mood prior to whatever big ask is being scheme.
Alaska moms are a fresh air, outdoor loving, walk on the wild side tribe. When the weather is good and the stars are aligned, indoor time feels more like a death sentence than a happy, safe place to be. In summer, the only place you’ll find the Alaska mom is in the great big outdoors.
Somehow, the Alaska mom is the only one capable of doing dog walking duty when the thermostat dips. Not that she loves frosting the inside of her lungs or freezing her eyelashes, she just doesn’t want to have to clean another dog mess off the floor.
This is by far one of the things that make Alaska moms rock. They love sledding and finding stellar sledding trails every bit as much as their kids. They also know, it’s one of the surest ways to get their kids to bed at a decent hour so, “Sleds away!”
Catching the sun in Alaska is like finding a Leprechaun’s pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. When you have it, you take all you can get. In Alaska, we can never have too much sun or too much vitamin D so, when the big spotlight in the sky is out, so are we.
An Alaska mom would have to be completely out of her mind to even think this. In Alaska, there is no such thing as picking enough berries.
To the Alaska mom, a hike is a hike. It means getting out and enjoying the beauty and awesomeness that is Alaska. There are no bad or overrated hikes, only bad hikers.
This falls in the same category as overrated hikes. Bike rides in Alaska are awesome, period.
There are moms and then there are Alaska moms. She’ll never love the 4:30 am wake-up call but she will love watching her kids play.
Any Alaska mom with a garden has an on-going summer long battle with her arch nemesis. While hard to call a winner on this one, the chickweed always does come back with a vengeance.
This is one of the hates an Alaska mom loves. At least the garden situation is largely salvaged with moose-proof fencing.
Because who doesn’t get a kick out of retrieving mini-caches of rotting refuse from the underbrush and wooded area around one’s house? In this case, it’d be Bear 1 – Alaska mom 0.
Alaska moms are rather generous and will give a lot. But when it comes to fishing equipment, they can be as territorial as the best of ‘em. When it comes to mom’s fishing gear— it’s strictly hands off.
This right here is the ultimate Alaska mom April Fool’s Day prank. Everyone knows, the grandaddy of all sacred Alaskan rules, “No one touches Dad’s gun unless Dad himself is there to grant permission.” 