27 Ways to Spot Out-of-Towners in Wisconsin

by Katie Hinkfuss Mar 8, 2018

1. They think you can’t tailgate before a Packers’ or Badgers’ game just because temperatures are below zero.

2. They say the weather can’t possibly get any worse.

3. They expect the official start of spring on March 20th to mean that temperatures will consistently get warmer.

4. They think you have to go to a farm to get a Spotted Cow.

5. They think a place as hokey as Mars Cheese Castle can’t possibly actually have good cheese.

6. They can’t stop staring in wonder at Al Johnson’s roof.

7. They think Cape Cod is better than Door County.

8. They ask for the water fountain.

9. They freak out when they have to drive in the snow and on the ice and before you know it, are spinning out.

10. They don’t spend every possible second during the summer outside.

11. They don’t know the password for Milwaukee’s Safehouse.

12. They think “Up North” is the name of a specific town.

13. They make the mistake of ordering a Bloody Mary after just eating a large meal.

14. They can’t hold their own at a wedding with the chicken dance and polka.

15. They aren’t brave enough to go polar bearing at Milwaukee’s Bradford Beach on New Year’s Day.

16. They think Booyah is a sassy comeback, not a delicious soup.

17. They order a burger on Fridays.

18. They call the fire department at a Door County Fish Boil.

19. They wear SmartWool or high-end ski wear instead of camo to a Packers game.

20. They are very thrown-off by the smell of manure that lightly permeates the air anywhere outside of Milwaukee, Madison, and Green Bay.

21. They nearly have a minor heart attack on the Winding Road in Door County.

22. They think orange is the Packers’ third official color.

23. They are concerned the cheese curds will go bad if they are not kept in the fridge at all times and don’t know how to get them to squeak.

24. They look alarmed when random people on the street or in the store start friendly conversations with them.

25. They think the parking lot outside Miller Park is just for parking cars and being on time is arriving for the start of the game.

26. They think a brat is a poorly behaved little child.

27. They have no idea how to even begin to pronounce “Oconomowoc” or “Shawano.”

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