25 Signs You Have Nature Deficit Disorder
“NATURE DEFICIT DISORDER” is a term coined by journalist Richard Louv to describe the increase of behavioral issues in human beings as a result of not spending enough time outdoors.
Taking this concept, we’ve come up with some thoughts and behaviors that those who suffer from the condition may exhibit. Be on the lookout.
1. Your idea of animal rights activism is boycotting the sale of Duck Hunt.
2. Your “Seasonal Affective Disorder” is when you can’t DVR your favorite TV shows because they’ve gone on hiatus.
3. You spend your two weeks of paid vacation browsing images on Google Maps.
4. Gobi Desert — isn’t that the name of that new indie band from Brooklyn?
5. “Winter” is a keyword you use on Tumblr when reblogging photos of peppermint mochas and gingerbread lattes.
6. You skipped out on a visit to Yosemite National Park because it only received 4.5 stars on Yelp. You’re strictly a 5 star kind of person.
7. If the dudes on Mount Rushmore are so important, why can’t you friend them on Facebook?
8. Sure, you’ve gone on safari — you play Big Buck at the bar.
9. You use the Kindle version of The Hunger Games as a forestry guide while camping.
10. Wait — turtles are neither teenaged, mutant, nor eat pizza?!
11. You have no idea what the word “biodegradable” means, but it earns you mad points on Words with Friends.
12. You read on Wikipedia that plants can make their own food via something called photosynthesis, but you’re smart enough to know you can’t trust everything you read on Wikipedia.
13. The Water Cycle is the name of the new fixed-gear bike you just bought.
14. You don’t like sitting in the park because there’s nowhere to plug in your MacBook Air / smartphone / iPad / Nook / tablet / netbook.
15. Yes, you carry the above with you at all times.
16. “I’m moving to the countryside,” your ex told you. “Because I need my space.” Except you didn’t understand why they needed to move to the middle of nowhere just to use a seriously outdated social media platform…
17. Your only exposure to fungi is Toad from Mario Brothers.
18. It’s frustrating that Foursquare won’t let you check into Long Island, even though you’ve been there many, many times via the namesake iced tea at happy hour.
19. You’d gladly hike the Appalachian Trail, if the whole thing had free wifi.
20. Instagramming your farm-to-table meal is the same as going to the actual farm.
21. When someone asks you to describe the word “autumn,” you direct them to a Thought Catalog article entitled “25 Reasons Why Pumpkin Spice Reminds Me of the 1990s.”
22. You know the genus and species of a Tamagotchi.
23. “Spelunking” is when you vomit after playing video games for 24 hours straight in your “Man Cave.”
24. Why take an airplane, when you can Google Drive?
25. You’re an active member of a community garden. It’s called Farmville, and it even has unicorns.