9 Differences Between a Normal Friend and an Arizona Friend
1. A normal friend freaks out about driving so fast on the open road.
An Arizona friend gets off on the autobahn-like thrill of the 75 mph highway speed limit “suggestion.”
2. A normal friend makes an appointment to gets their teeth cleaned at the dentist by the mall.
An Arizona friend breaks out their passport and walks over to Mexico for their annual checkup — for 75% less dinero.
3. A normal friend passes out from heat exhaustion when the temperature hits 95 degrees.
An Arizona friend only starts to complain about “being a little warm” when it reaches about 118.
4. A normal friend grounds their teenage kid by taking their phone for a week.
An Arizona friend takes away their Ford F150.
5. A normal friend might enjoy a dab of Pace picante sauce on their hard-shell taco.
An Arizona friend dumps a gallon of hot, authentic salsa on their carne seca chimichanga.
6. A normal friend wears flip-flops at the beach.
An Arizona friend wears flip flops to church, weddings, quinceañeras, and camping. And everywhere else.
7. A normal friend wants to go clubbing, so she buys a hot, tight, black dress.
An Arizona friend wants to go two-stepping so she buys a new tight pair of stonewashed Wranglers.
8. A normal friend orders a blended melon margarita with half salt, two limes, and an orange.
An Arizona friend orders a shot of mescal, no training wheels.
9. A normal friend sees an innocent little garter snake and runs away screaming.
An Arizona friend sees a five-foot, venomous diamondback rattler and gets the snake bucket and a stick.