Photo: Maksim Samarin/Shutterstock

13 Signs You've Become Culturally Wisconsinite

Wisconsin
by Sarah Puckett Mar 19, 2019

You swore you’d never give up your culture from back home, but after a few years in Wisconsin, your friends and family are starting to notice some peculiar changes. They sometimes don’t understand you when you speak, and your grandmother worries when she hears it’s snowing and you’re wearing a T-shirt. Here are 13 signs you’ve become culturally Wisconsinite.

1. 30 degrees doesn’t feel cold anymore.

On the first 30 degree Saturday of spring, you’re outside drinking beers in a T-shirt. After months of near-zero temperatures, 30 feels absolutely balmy.

2. You got a date to the Hunter’s Ball.

And you’re thinking about getting a nice pair of cowboy boots for the event.

3. Your friends and family back home don’t understand your accent and vernacular.

They’ve started to ask you why you sound “Canadian” and insist that “bubblers” aren’t a real thing. When you tell them you’re stopping by the TYME machine before visiting the Forevertron, they are genuinely worried about your mental health.

4. You’re a nicer person.

You invite everyone you meet over for dinner, and your fridge is well-stocked with Miller Lite to share with any unexpected guests. Your manners have even improved, as evidenced by the “Ope!” you let out whenever you accidentally bump into someone.

5. Venison is a regular staple in your meal planning.

Before moving to Wisconsin, you never dreamed of eating Bambi. But you’ve come to love this lean meat, and you even bought a second freezer to store it after hunting season.

6. You’ve toured at least five breweries.

While the basic ingredients in beer are the same, you now know that no two breweries are alike. You tell your friends back home that you go for the cultural experience, but any Wisconsinite knows the real reason is for the free samples.

7. You didn’t care about football before, but now you’re on the waiting list for Packers season tickets.

It all started innocently enough, with a trip to Lambeau Field for a game one fall day. Soon, though, you were watching every game with friends, and owned a cheesehead and a jersey.

8. You’ve become an expert on Frank Lloyd Wright.

While knowing nothing else about architecture, you nevertheless manage to impress your out-of-town friends by casually dropping words like “Taliesin,” “Monona Terrace,” and “Wingspread” in your stories about living in Wisconsin.

9. You just got a fishing shack that has heat, a TV, and a mini-fridge.

When friends back home ask you why, you simply can’t believe they’d expect you to ice fish in the cold, with no entertainment or beer.

10. You start looking for a cabin up north.

The Northwoods are calling your name, and there’s simply no other place you can think of where you want to spend a long weekend away.

11. You can drive in the snow without stress crying.

You arrived to work in tears after your first snowy Wisconsin commute, half grateful to be alive and half stressed about the drive home later. Now, you navigate snowy roads like a pro, and only need to tack on about an extra 10 minutes to make it to the office on time.

12. Your annual family vacation is to the Dells.

Because there’s no such thing as a decent family vacation without pizza buffets, a magic show, water parks, and a casino.

13. You haven’t missed a Friday fish fry at your local supper club all year.

The staff know you by name, and they know exactly how you like your old fashioned. You’ve become friends with other regulars and have started to get invited to their weekly cribbage games. This, you realize, is the pinnacle of becoming fully Wisconsinite.

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