Sober Cruises Are Rare, but This Sober Cruise Expert Knows Foregoing Alcohol Can Be Just as Fun

I am a cruiser and a non-drinker. I’m not a teetotaler (I have been known to enjoy a cocktail on special occasions) and neither am I a recovering alcoholic — I just don’t care for alcohol and its effects on me. Therefore, being among people who drink doesn’t really bother me, as long as it’s not an extreme, binging situation. That’s lucky for me since cruising usually means being in the presence of people who overindulge in that regard.

A cruiser who purchases a drinks package with alcohol needs to have about six to seven drinks per day to break even. Often, they can have up to 15 alcoholic drinks per day with their package. With that kind of math, of course, cruisers tend to drink a lot.

Kyle Valenta, senior SEO editor at Cruise Critic, is a budding cruiser and a sober traveler. While he had gone on only five cruises when we spoke, he has a distinct travel perspective.

“Part of the reason I came on board [at Cruise Critic] was to shine a light on the rookie cruiser’s experience, especially as a queer traveler who abstains from alcohol,” Valenta says.

I talked with Valenta at length about his experience cruising while sober and the advice he would give non-drinkers who want to travel the world by cruise ships.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Matador: When and why did you become a sober traveler?

Kyle Valenta: My personal sobriety journey started out of necessity — by 2013, I’d survived four medical detoxes over the course of two years due to potentially fatal alcohol withdrawal after severe bouts of binge drinking.

Since then, I’ve abstained from alcohol for nearly 10 years. Over that time I’ve had both hard and easy times while navigating alcohol-centric experiences. Of course, that includes travel, which I’d already been hooked on for years by the time I stopped drinking. Once I quit drinking, though, travel quickly became my go-to dopamine hit. After 2013, I began traveling far more, and began my full-time career in travel media in 2015.

You recently wrote a piece that lists tips for sober travelers who want to cruise. Do you personally find it complicated to be a sober cruiser?

I’m lucky enough to have over a decade of sober travel under my belt. While traveling without alcohol is easy and almost second nature to me now, it wasn’t always this way, and I’ve spent plenty of time in destinations where alcohol can be a prominent part of the experience.

For instance, when I was in Madrid for the first time in 2015, I thought I’d explore the tapas bars my first night in town, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. Could I have done it sober? Probably. But I would have felt too conscious of myself at that point in my alcohol-abstinence journey, and didn’t actually know if my sparkling water qualified me for the free pinchos they often give away with beer, wine, and cocktails.

When I began taking cruises, I definitely had cruise stereotypes in mind — that typical idea that everyone will be drunk all the time. That quickly changed with my first cruise aboard Royal Caribbean Mariner of the Seas. I saw that there was an array of things to see and do both on the ship and off, and that there were seemingly hundreds of other people who weren’t drunk at all hours of the day either. The great gym onboard, the high-speed waterslides at Royal Caribbean’s Perfect Day at CocoCay, and a friendly group of Disney World employees that I met only made it easier, to be honest.

What cruise lines would you say are best suited for sober travelers?

It’s not really fair to say one cruise line is better suited for sober travelers than another, though some cruises to some destinations on some cruise lines tend to be a little more booze-centric. This is really no different than all-inclusive resorts on land in places like Cancun or Cabo San Lucas, which tend to be a bit rowdier and fueled by booze, but where you can also find more relaxed, less alcohol-centered experiences.

It’s really on the sober cruiser to do their research to make sure a cruise offers enough of what you want to do to really enjoy your vacation, regardless of the cruise line. This can include researching mocktails onboard — nearly every line can at least crank out a virgin piña colada or mojito — but also check out onboard entertainment and activities, features like the spa and gym, as well as shore excursions on offer.

Virgin Voyages offers some of the most dynamic and interactive entertainment at sea, as well as all-day programming that goes beyond shopping presentations and quiz shows. They also offer creative mocktails in every restaurant onboard — likewise for Cunard. Royal Caribbean, who some might think of as a party cruise line, has a huge array of programming and entertainment, plus countless places to unwind away from the bar on their Oasis- and Icon-Class ships. The water show on Wonder of the Seas has enough octane to supplant any rush a cocktail might give you.

Would you say that luxury cruise lines are better suited to sober travelers than others?

Almost any kind of cruise can be more alcohol centered, so sober travelers really need to do their research — particularly focusing on reviews by previous cruisers, like in Cruise Critic’s community forums. Honestly, there are luxury lines with Caribbean itineraries (and elsewhere) that definitely have a more alcohol-fueled vibe — at Cruise Critic, we’ve certainly seen that vibe even on some luxe sailing ships in the region (as opposed to traditional cruise ships). Other lines, like Silversea, Oceania, and others, do have a more chilled-out, quiet reputation that reflect cruises with less of an emphasis on drinking.

Expedition cruises are an even more reliable way to get away from the alcohol-centric experiences on some mainstream cruise lines. Check out offerings from Uncruise, HX (Hurtigruten), Seabourn, or Lindblad, which are often so packed with adventure that most passengers fall into bed early at night. In other words, the rush of the expedition itself supplants the need for alcohol for even non-sober travelers.

What, in your opinion as a sober cruiser, could cruise lines do to better include sober travelers?

Most 12-step groups and addiction therapy teach the sober person that personal accountability is a critical part of the process for those who are sober. That means that those who abstain from alcohol don’t necessarily expect that an event, destination, or vacation will cater to their sobriety.

However, nearly every cruise offers 12-step meetings onboard as part of their regular programming. If you’re more comfortable with your home group or a group that’s not based on the ship, many lines now have powerful WiFi that can make it easy to join a group on land (or connect with your therapist).

My only thought is that while all cruise lines serve mocktails (even though they aren’t always on the menus), many could be more creative with alcohol-free cocktails and should shine more of a spotlight on them in their restaurants and bars. In the same vein, diversifying wellness beyond spa treatments would also be great, as many sober people rely on these to maintain their sobriety.

What are the top three pieces of advice you would give a person who does not drink and would like to go on a cruise?

1. Be honest with yourself about where you are in your recovery journey: Nearly any social setting involving alcohol can trigger cravings and other uncomfortable feelings for newly sober people. This was the case for me in my first couple years of alcohol abstinence. However, if you have a robust support network and practiced and proven tactics that have kept you sober in those situations, it can be far easier to avoid a potential relapse while on a cruise or vacation. That often comes with time.
2. Do your research: This is true for anyone who cruises, but it’s critical for sober cruisers. Forums and online groups provide advice and reviews from plenty of alcohol-abstinent cruisers. These are likely your most honest, up-to-the-minute source of intel on how alcohol-soaked the cruise you’re considering is likely to be. Additionally, research what you can do onboard, what you can do on land, and what kinds of less alcohol-centric spaces are offered on your cruise.
3. Make a plan, be accountable to someone, and play the tape through to the end: Three powerful tools for sober people that apply on a cruise as well.
   • Planning provides structure to avoid endless stretches of free time, which can trigger sober people or open them up to making more impulsive decisions.
   • Staying accountable to someone also helps. Take lots of pictures and send them to a friend, family member, sponsor, or other trusted person. Staying in touch about your cruise — the good and bad things — with someone meaningful to you can help you from staying true to your goal of staying sober, whether you’re feeling a craving, took an amazing shore excursion, or enjoyed a long nap on the beach.
   • Finally, playing the tape through to the end is a tried-and-true recovery tactic. You can do this before departing by imagining the specific triggering situations you might be in on a cruise, and honestly visualizing each step of how you might navigate cravings, triggers, and so on. While on the ship, use this tactic before situations where temptation might be higher: near the pool bar, in the nightclub, during typical happy hour times, and so on.

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