Here’s what any honest Seattle resident will tell you: Skip Pike Place. In the time it takes you to weave through zombie crowds waiting for flying fish, you could be rambling through the neighborhood that claims a seven-ton statue of Lenin, houseboats that aren’t famous, and a chocolate factory (whose all-you-can-eat samples trump fresh produce any day).

With naked festivals and plenty of happy hours to fuel the hunt for oddities, Fremont neighborhood (two miles due north of the Space Needle) is a holiday away from your Seattle holiday.

Morning

Ignore Pike Place by hopping on the #26 or #28 bus from downtown. You’ve arrived just after passing the sign for Center of the Universe, proudly posted on Fremont’s very own drawbridge.

Start the day by observing the golden rule of Seattle coffee: Don’t drink Starbucks. Go local. Fremont Coffee Company will show you why we’re such proud coffee snobs. Take your beverage for a walk on the Lake Washington canal, where Googlers seeking respite from algorithms lounge alongside dog walkers and tired cyclists. Relax on a waterside bench and stare at houseboats and sailboats you can’t afford. Wonder if you know anyone who can.

Or just go shopping. Vintage stores Gold Dogs and Atlas Clothing, a megalopolis of pre-loved garments, will help you add flare to the same travel outfit you’ve been wearing for days. For free fun, Jive Time Records and Ophelia’s Books are antidotes to the digitally saturated world, offering dollar finds and unrushed attitudes.

Lunch

By noon your stomach will have noticed you can’t go hungry in Fremont. Seattleites know pho makes any ailment better, from hangovers to breakups. We always have a pho recommendation. The fragrant Vietnamese pho at Lucky’s satisfies for under $7.

For the gluten averse, the treats at Flying Apron Bakery make even gluten-loving customers nod in approval. Norm’s Eatery and Ale House serves up burgers and beers with a dog-friendly policy. Everything tastes better while watching puppies play.

The only thing separating you from America’s Greatest Pork Sandwich is a thigh-busting climb up the Fremont Street hill. Paseo is Seattle’s least best-kept secret. Make sure you’ve got cash and patience to stand in the inevitable line. The reward is a Cuban-perfected recipe of slow-roasted onions and tender pork piled on a chewy baguette.

Afternoon

Then ramble on. Debate revolutionary violence or just snap a selfie at the Vladimir Lenin statue (N 36th and Fremont Place N), whose owner mortgaged his house to enable its transport from Poland to Seattle. See the troll under the bridge everyone talks about (N 36th where it crosses under the Aurora Bridge). It’s a giant concrete statue crushing a VW Bug, and, yes, it’s that cool.

Find and embrace Fremont’s mantra — de libertas quirkas (freedom to be peculiar) — painted across a Cold War-era rocket with a history of not getting it up. Follow the intoxicating whiff of roasting chocolate from Theo’s Chocolate Factory. Their tasting room is easily one of the happiest places in Fremont.

Night

When the bro-tastic hordes start their takeover in the evening, escape to Add-a-Ball. Three rooms of pinball madness await in a basement dive bar devoid of bros. Patrick Swayze, his Point Break face memorialized on a mural, presides over it all. If you’re not into slinging balls, there’s also Tetris, Dr. Mario, or Ms. Pac-Man. Or slide into spacious booths that make it easy to meet new friends. A bonus: Red Vines are sold by the vine for $0.25 (pair with your Rainier tallboy).

When you’re played out, crash at Hotel Hotel, the classy hostel for the backpacker who’s grown out of the 20-bed coed dorm style. Or just Airbnb a houseboat.