How to piss off a Spaniard

Photo: Tchacky

I should probably preface this whole thing by saying that it’s really not that easy to piss off a Spaniard, unless you’re overtly trying to do so. They, along with the people of Bali, are probably the most easy going and good natured people I’ve ever encountered.

However, it is possible to anger a Spaniard, especially in certain circumstances.

Insult their mother.

The Spanish don’t curse like we do. There’s no equivalent in the language for a simple “Fuck you.” Instead, most real curses invoke the purity, or lack thereof, of the cursee’s mother. I have two favorites I heard while I lived in Madrid. There’s the sort of standard, “I shit in the milk of the mother who bore you,” which is sometimes shortened to just, “the milk!” But my all time favorite is, “I shit in the fourteenth kilometer of the cuckold’s horns of your father.” That’s some imaginative cursing.

Be insensitive to their “national” identity.

Many people don’t know this, but there are at least four distinct languages spoken in Spain: Castellano, which is what we know as Spanish; Catalan, the language of Catalunya, the area around Barcelona; Basque, the language of the area around Bilbao and San Sebastián; and Gallego, the language of the area north of Portugal. All of these people regard themselves as citizens of their own region first and, except for the Castilians, of Spain second. In fact, the Basques and Catalans have very active “Secede from Spain” movements going right now. Be very careful of any generalizations about Spain whichever region you are in.

Make no effort to speak Spanish, or whatever the language of the region you’re in.

When you can manage a few phrases — even as little as por favór and gracias — the Spanish will bend over backward to use their few words of English to communicate with you. But just start out in English without making any attempt to meet them half way, and you’ll likely be dismissed as a tourist completely lacking in any grace…which you are.

Drive slow in the fast lane.

The highways in Spain are a lot better than they used to be. Most of the two lane roads have periodic spots where a passing lane is provided. But woe to him who is driving too slow (ie, less than 20 km/h over the speed limit), or driving in the fast lane when not passing. I once had a truck touch my bumper to suggest I hurry up. At the time I was going 120 km/h. Just keep right at all times is my advice.

Cheer for the Barcelona soccer team when you’re in a bar in Madrid.

And vice versa. It’s said that the first three words a Spanish child learns are fútbol, Barça and Real (Madrid). At least one of the latter two words is often preceded by maldito sea, which means “may they burn in hell.” Imagine cheering for the Red Sox in a Manhattan bar. You get the picture.

Mention Francisco Franco.

The brutal dictator died in 1975, but his successor party is in power in Spain now. There is no such thing as a Spaniard without an opinion on his rule. Best to just avoid the topic unless you know your audience really well.

Try to get a word in edgewise.

Anyone who has ever been in a group of Spaniards knows that there’s no such thing as waiting for someone else to finish speaking before speaking themselves. If there are four Spaniards in a group, there are four people talking. And, as they talk, the volume increases as they each try to make themselves heard above the others. Actually, this doesn’t really piss Spaniards off, that nobody is listening. It’s just the way it is. It will piss you off a lot more than them.

Minimize the Spanish culture.

The French used to have a saying, “Africa begins at the Pyrenees.” This was meant to be the ultimate insult to the Spanish. Perhaps when Franco was in power (or when the Moors were in power 500 years ago) the French had a point. But now the Spanish are extremely proud of their membership in Europe. And, they’re even more proud of their cultural heritage that draws heavily on their Christian, Muslim, and Jewish traditions. Trying to minimize their culture, and their contribution to that of the world, pisses off not only them, but me, too.

Unless you want me to say something about your mother, don’t do it.

* This post was originally published on February 19, 2013.

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  • Joysquirt Joy

    Incredibly well written article with needful information for strangers of Spain who want to visit there….

    • David Craw

      joysquirt?

      i shall assume you are some kind of gimmick who thinks spain is somewhere south of california

  • Natasha Young

    I find telling them you don’t eat ham works a treat.

  • Fernando Mirapeix

    I agree with everything! ps.I am spanish! ajaja ;)

  • Tom Bartel

    Yes, Natasha. I once had a Spaniard tell me he was a “Spanish vegetarian.” “The only meat I eat is jamon.”

    • Richard Armstrong

      That explains it! Now I know why I was getting everybody so pissed off when I was driving a milk truck from Madrid to Barcelona, doing the speed limit, and sporting a New York Giants sticker on my bumper. Seriously, though, great article, Tom.

  • Fer Perro

    Very accurate indeed!

    • Andrea Gentil

      ohhhhhhhh nunca hice esas cosas… o si?? :p

    • Fer Perro

      Conmigo no al menos :P

  • Kathy Schlecht

    I found that if you relate anything Portuguese as Spanish, that seems to get the blood boiling.

  • Emilio López

    Hi Tom, I am from Spain, and have to disagree with you in only one thing: there is a way of saying “Fuck you” in Spanish, and it is “Que te follen”, haha… But you are right that we like to say things in a different way. We are very pasionate in everything we do, and we even put that same passion into our insults. We are very creative and witty, and always try to find ingenious ways to do things, especially on insults and compliments to girls (next time you could write an article on “How Spaniards compliment girls”, I have heard so many good lines on the topic, haha… Just an idea). I really enjoyed reading you. Keep up the good work! Un abrazo!

    • David Craw

      no, you’re not creative and witty – you are self obsessed and completely devoid of initiative.

      your comments above could only have come from a self centred fellow.

      creative? GREAT LOL OF CHINA

      it speaks volumes that the only two examples of ingenious ways you try to do things are insulting and complimenting girls.

      filthy tart.

    • Lourdes Martínez Moreno

      David Craw you obviously know nothing about us and you have some troubles on your mind so the best you could do is meet first some spanish and maybe then talk about us. If not, shut up!

    • Maritrina de Naranja

      hahahaahhahaha put your insults in your butt, idiot. Loser.

    • Maritrina de Naranja

      hahahaahhahaha put your insults in your butt, idiot. Loser.

    • Toni Villar Balaguer

      Not creative? does it ring you a bell Seneca(Philosopher), Miguel de Cervantes (Greatest novelist ever), Picasso(Painter), Dalí (painter)??

    • Toni Villar Balaguer

      David Craw I also know how to piss you off, so you better behave correctly and tell no lies…

  • Emilio López

    Hi Tom, I am from Spain, and have to disagree with you in only one thing: there is a way of saying “Fuck you” in Spanish, and it is “Que te follen”, haha… But you are right that we like to say things in a different way. We are very pasionate in everything we do, and we even put that same passion into our insults. We are very creative and witty, and always try to find ingenious ways to do things, especially on insults and compliments to girls (next time you could write an article on “How Spaniards compliment girls”, I have heard so many good lines on the topic, haha… Just an idea). I really enjoyed reading you. Keep up the good work! Un abrazo!

  • Michel Sanchez

    I am spanish. Congratulations. ahhahahahah! I laughed a lot with this article about us.

  • Roger Warwick

    Nice article, but you forgot to mention criticising the food! That’s one sure way to piss off a Spaniard :-)

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

      • DMaquinon

        dude, spanish food is like eating shit from a dog’s arse

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Santiago Ocón Barbas

      No one dares to criticize spanish food.

    • Josafat Concepción

      That’s totally part of our culture, so it’s in the last point. ;)

  • David Gómez Heredia

    I am Spanish and disagree with the way of driving

    • Roland Nopiensodarminombre Aunamaquina

      Let me explain that. The spanish driving laws (not me, but yes, I must recognize that I usually get annoyed with it) says that you must drive always on the right line and use the left ONLY to overtake.

  • Jackie Cruz

    You can also keep referring to Alonso as Alfonso – that really riles up my Spanish friends!

  • Jackie Cruz

    You can also keep referring to Alonso as Alfonso – that really riles up my Spanish friends!

    • David Craw

      this is nice!

      i shall use this to troll many spaniards.

    • Jean Ann Gilhead

      This is great – and so true! Any idea how I can ‘share’ this on FB, Jackie? I’m not seeing any ‘share’ under this post…

    • Jackie Cruz

      Hi @[634041191:2048:Jean Ann Gilhead]! I’m not sure…maybe go to the original article and copy and paste? Jx

    • Jackie Cruz

      Hi @[634041191:2048:Jean Ann Gilhead]! I’m not sure…maybe go to the original article and copy and paste? Jx

    • Jean Ann Gilhead

      Good thinking – thanks…!

  • Cat Gaa

    WAIT, the Spaniards don’t swear? I’m married to an andaluz, and apart from the “me cago en”s, he and most others I know use the f-word more than sparingly.

    • Vesna Puh

      Haha, good one! I think just Serbs can compete with Spaniards and they probably bit them…

    • Boris Markov

      As a Venezuelan I tend to use “coño” a lot but after my first time in Madrid I realize I use it rather sparingly. And to Vesna, as someone of Croatian ancestry I realized that my first words in the language were actually swear words. And I can easily the Serbs and Croats in a lengthy competition with the Spaniards but we must all bow down to the masters…the Italians!

  • Roberto Dominguez

    Mmmmm…..dont Think we are like that. Are we?. Anyway whenever u visit Spain, don’t forget to make yourself at home. :)

  • Nieves Park

    Rajoy is not Franco’s successor! I can’t believe you affirm that!

    • Argantonios

      I don’t know whom this guy has spoken to. But to consider the Popular Party a sucessor of Franco is really shor-sighted. Franco was a right-wing dictator, the PP is a right-wing political party; full-stop.

      • Sermar

        And here we have the 6th way to piss off proven

        • Miguel

          Not proven. Corrected.
          What it really proves is that foreigners trying to have an opinion about politics in Spain and failing in the terms *does* piss us off.

      • Ángel Burroughs

        The very fundation of the PP party was financed by old Franco’s institutions and all those who benefited from his goverment.

        You could even see some of the old Franco’s most important members like Fraga who killed and sentenced people to death (just for believing that they deserved a better country and leaders or simply for being gay)
        Now get yourself informed before speaking no matter if you are spanish or not.

        • alberto

          Fraga was Minister of Turism with Franco. It is fine if you do not like him, but do not lie or try to confuse the people. He never killed, executed or sentenced anybody to death.

          • rr_ww

            Alberto, shame on you. You must have been asleep in history class, or did they gloss over Mr. Fraga’s murderous past? Prior to being an innocuous Minister of Tourism, he was Ministro del INTERIOR. Yes, the one responsible for the for the arrests, torture and killings during his period with that portfolio. He was a long careered Franquista.

  • Nieves Park

    Rajoy is not Franco’s successor! I can’t believe you affirm that!

    • Tom Bartel

      Franco to Fraga to Aznar to Rajoy. It’s the history of the PP, no?

      • Susana Martinez Casal

        AHI LA QUE MANDA ES ANGELA MERKEL..PARA QUE LA QUEREMOS

      • Amy

        Totally agree with Tom. It’s because people like Nieves that a semi-dictator is rulling Spain at the moment.

    • Luis G Godosar

      No

    • Adrià Salvador Palau

      Yes

    • Toni Villar Balaguer

      Of course it is, Evolution of political parties, Falange (Franco) to Reforma Democrática to Alianza Popular, to Partido Popular. Francos tourism minister (Fraga) was president of PP. Don’t try to hide the reality to the world, a lot of people in PP are fascist, and that is REAL.

      • Argantonios

        It is REAL because YOU say so. Like saying that Zapatero was a sucessor to Stalin.

        • True is true

          It’s true because it is so, and saying otherwise just proves you’re lying.
          Zapatero (former spanish president), which, by the way, had nothing to do with this, was a sucessor to many Spanish socialist leaders, including the Spanish II Republic ones (those Franco killed or sent to exile in France or South America), but not to any dictator.

          Rajoy, on the other hand, is a sucessor to Manuel Fraga, Minister in the dictatorship, and his own party is a “lightly democratized” version of the old fascist movement (there are others, but those even lack the democratizatino part).

          You just need to search the web to find many examples of members of the Spanish People’s Party with fascist symbols (flags, swastikas, roman salute), especially, and most worryingly, the members of the Nuevas Generaciones (New Generations), the party’s youth organization.

        • True is true

          Just to prove what I said.

          This guy is the General Secretary of Gandia’s (Valencia) New Generations of the People’s Party of Spain. The Stone to the right is a Monument from the Fascist Dictatorship. His raised arm is the typical fascist salutation.

          So, yes, there are more than evident connections between the People’s Party and the Dictatorship in every way: ideology, members, organization.

          • say whattt!!

            this guy is a disgunting c..nt!

    • Roland Nopiensodarminombre Aunamaquina

      .

    • Roland Nopiensodarminombre Aunamaquina

      Toni Villar Balaguer That´s true, but a lot of people don´t want to admit that

    • Manuel Seguí

      It is the truth, plain and simple, BTW Toni, Fraga was also Minister of Internal Affairs (Ministro de la Gobernación, actual ministerio del Interior) under Franco’s fascist dictatorship, he even signed death warrants for politcal prisioners.

    • Juan Carlos Hdez

      Oh yeah… hahaha

    • Miguel Silva Barral

      And, this is why it says “There is no such thing as a Spaniard without an opinion on his rule. Best to just avoid the topic unless you know your audience really well.”

    • nekobcn

      mmm… yes, he is

    • Soraya

      Rajoy represents the conservative party, and it is true that most of Rajoy’s followers or voters, are, or were, Franco’s followers. Some of the old dictatorial ideas, the afinity with church, the moral and social status principles, the family values, etc. are present in the PP idiosincracy. But this is not so bad when regulated by a democratic system. That makes the difference

  • Ogami Itto

    How to piss off an african, minimize/undermine african contribution to spanish and european civilization !

  • John Garrett

    How to piss off an Englishman – distort the language- Lol, ‘edgewise’? Surely you mean ‘edgeways’.

    • say whattt!!!

      I think the guy is American, and Englishman wouldn´t use the word soccer

  • Andrés Astur Treceño García

    It’s fine: Spanish people are like this! But take care: there are two more languages in Spain, which are not recoginsed as official languages -but they are: asturian (language that I speak) and aragonian. ¡¡L’asturianu, llingua oficial yá!

    • Jesus Montes Estrada

      que si Pin, que toi d’alcuerdu contigo. llingua oficial ya !!!

    • Boris Markov

      I can aggree with you given that:
      a- The Reconquista started in Asturias
      b- Spain came to be as the union of the kingdoms of Aragón and Castilla.

    • Val Light

      Not to mention andalu’ !

    • Josafat Concepción

      Y no olvidemos, como siempre, que Canarias está en el Atlántico

    • Albert Navarro Sánchez

      And Aranés!

    • Carlota Surós

      La UNESCO ya lo ha reconocido (el Asturianu) como lengua oficial!

    • Susana Martinez Casal

      NOS LLEGA UNA …EL CASTELLANO

    • say whattt!!!

      I always thought that the languange in Asturias it was called bable no asturiano

  • Andrés Astur Treceño García

    It’s fine: Spanish people are like this! But take care: there are two more languages in Spain, which are not recoginsed as official languages -but they are: asturian (language that I speak) and aragonian. ¡¡L’asturianu, llingua oficial yá!

    • Susana Martinez Casal

      GALLEGO Y ASTURIANO ES LO MISMO ..VETE A LUGO Y VERAS

      • Alvar Fáñez

        vete a Llanes y verás! Ignorante!

  • Narkez Mc

    Great article! I´m Spanish, and as someone said in other comment, you forgot to mention the food. It is sacred for us, and likely is one the prodest things for us. And the other point is the languages. We have also, Asturiano (Bable), Valenciano and Mallorquín (which are quite similar to Catalan)! In any case, congratulations! it really made me laugh! ;)

    • Susana Martinez Casal

      la mejor Galicia marisco buen vino

    • Eva

      In fact, Valenciano and Mallorquín ARE the same as Catalan

  • Juan Illo

    Where are you from, Tom?

  • Miguel Marquez

    Easiest ways to troll a Spaniard nowadays:

    -Pretend you don’t know where Spain is.
    -Claim Spain is located in South America.
    -Ask them why Mexicans speak better Spanish (they don’t, of course).
    -Claim Portugal is a richer country.
    -Tell them they are not white, but rather Arabic.
    -Claim French wine is superior (indeed it is).

    • Sonia Molina

      really? I think I will laugh with all of them..

    • Cristina Cortes

      You just pissed me off by mentioning those things…:-p

    • Lauraciz

      Hahahaha
      You right!

    • Susana Martinez Casal

      tu no sabes donde estas parado

    • Ser

      hahahhah that’s true!! specially “ask them why Mexicans speak better Spanish” and “Claim Spain is located in South America”… those ways to troll are far better than the ones in the article (which in my opinion are not true to me :/)

    • Ernesto

      So much better than the original post!

    • Marco

      Los mexicanos sí hablamos mejor español, pendejos.

      • LUIS SAGUILLO

        No, los españoles somos la cuna del “Castellano” o español, así que no es una cuestión de quien lo habla mejor, “mejicanos” y españoles nos podemos entender perfectamente simplemente hay que pensar que España es la raíz del español y que por influencias culturales y distorsiones en el tiempo, en Méjico se habla un poco distinto al que se habla en España.
        Pero si de lo que se trata es de reír y de enfrentarnos como tontos entre gente que habla español yo también quiero participar:

        “No tenéis ni puta idea de hablar, ademas el español se enseñó en américa bajo el dominio imperialista de España a partir de la época de los reyes católicos!!!, así que si el español os lo enseñamos nosotros, así que a callar todos!!” jajajaj!!!!

        Así lo único que parecemos, es tontos a ojos del resto del mundo por tonterías como expresiones típicas de países de habla hispana en américa….. nuestras diferencias es lo que hace que el español que hablamos todos los hispanos ya sean de Guayaquil, Arequípa, Buenos Aires o Guadalajara, etc… sea el idioma mas rico y culturalmente mas profundo del mundo. Así que deberíamos de ser un poquito mas receptivos a nuevas palabras traidas de otras costumbres y regiones que nos enriquecen a todos.

        Un saludo para todos!

        • Juan

          Bravo

        • gvas12

          pero fue necesario decir todo eso? tranquilooooo!

        • Bon

          bien dicho.

        • prout

          Dejando a un lado quién habla “mejor” español, que esos son tonterías, preguntemos a alguien que está aprendiendo español, a quién se le entiende mejor? A un mexicano o a un español.

          • http://ymuchomas.com/ Kaley

            Depende de quién y de dónde lo hayan aprendido, ¿no? Ahora entiendo mejor a los españoles, puesto que llevo muchos años aquí … pero si vives mucho tiempo en México, ¿a quién vas a entender mejor? Claro, a los mexicanos.

          • Sergio A. Garcia

            y te dirá que da igual, sea de donde sea generalmente entenderá mejor a un niño pequeño, luego llenamos nuestras bocas de modismos y frases hechas por las tendencias, a eso es a lo que los latinoamericanos llaman evolucion. y la evolucion está bien, implica que una lengua está viva…

            and he/she will say to
            you that where is the Spanish-speaking coming from. He/she will likely
            understand a child better than to an older person. Just before the time we
            adopt slang expressions and trendy sentences. That is actually what is called
            evolution by our friends from South America, and that is not bad at all…
            implies that the language is alive…evolves in interaction with its surroundings.

          • Tragovino

            Si estas aprendiendo español, mejor no te fijes ni en un mexicano ni en un andaluz.
            Jajaja

          • León Subiri

            Yo soy medio andaluz, me crié allí y probablemente hable y escriba mejor que usted el español. Que hay andaluces que hablan y escriban mal, sí…, pero igual valencianos, madrileños, asturianos, manchegos, catalanes…

            Empero seguro que lleva usted razón y lo mejor es que nadie se fije en ningún andaluz si quiere aprender español. No se fije siquiera en los Hermanos Machado, Juan Ramón Jiménez, Luis de Góngora y Argote, Federico García Lorca, Rafael Alberti, Antonio Carvajal, Vicente Aleixandre, Gustavo Adólfo Bécquer, Luis Cernuda, Manuel Altolaguirre, Luis Coloma, Antonio Gala, José Martín Recuerda, Ángel Ganivet, José Cabrera Martos, Juan Ceyles Domínguez, Fernando de Villena, Enrique Morón, Alberto Maqueda, Luis García Montero, Juan José Castro Martín, José Lupiañez, Duque de Rivas, José Cadalso, Pedro Antonio de Alarcón, Francisco Villaespesa, los hermanos Álvarez Quintero…

            … ¿quiere que siga o le parecen suficientes ejemplos?
            Un último apunte. Piense cuántos premios Nobel de literatura nacidos en España hay y cuántos son andaluces. Le ayudaré un poco: hay dos madrileños, un gallego y… en total son cinco.

            Depende de con qué andaluces se junte aprenderá uno un español de mejor o peor calidad… como en cualquier otra parte de España. Lo digo sin acritud, las amebas tienen más gracia que usted.

          • Mike Dobson

            I moved to Andalucía 2 years ago already speaking French and a bit of Italian, and having studied Latin to a modest degree. I still find it almost impossible to have a conversation with locals because of the accent. People from eg Córdoba tell me that they can scarcely understand it either!

        • Patricio Flynn

          Muy bien dicho, don Luis. Soy Argentino y considero la lengua castellana como excelente.

        • Founder Ceo

          lástima que el inglés se lo está tragando vivo.

        • Españolito

          Muy bien dicho y en castellano clarito.

        • Davi Hadita

          El español no es una lengua muerta, hay muchas maneras de hablarlo, lo que esta claro es que solo hay que leer los foros en español para darte cuenta de las inmensas faltas de ortografia que se usan por aquel continente

        • RaquelH

          Soy canaria, viví un tiempo en México y lo amo muchomucho. Encontré que muchas palabras tienen significados incluso opuestos, y que el albur es deporte nacional y si no practicas te comen! Así que yo también pienso que somos demasiados hispanohablantes como para saber cuál es mejor o peor, y al final lo bonito es lo rico que este idioma y sus malas palabras, y los malos ratos cuando corriges “coger” por “agarrar” y se te ve el plumero por lista.

          Los españoles tenemos un grave problema con esto de la identidad regional, y es que tendemos a asociar la bandera española con el fascismo (errooor). Pero bueno, que yo por muy canaria que sea ante todo, tengo que decir que ponerse fronteras es siempre un error, y no necesariamente implica proteger tu identidad. Y que viva México cabrones, viva España ostia puta y viva la ORTOGRAFÍA lo primero, que la educación todavía es pública carajo!

        • Elio Antonio

          Maravilloso comentario que suscribo. Nuestro idioma es un idioma mundial y por lo tanto riquísimo. Aprendamos de los anglófonos, que saben explotar la variedad de su idioma (y muy bien que hacen). Tenemos la suerte de hablar un idioma que nos permite al mismo tiempo entendernos con gente de países muy diferentes y maravillarnos con palabras y expresiones variadísimas y curiosísimas. Tengo cierta base de comparación: hablo siete idiomas, dos de ellos casi al mismo nivel que mi español nativo.

      • Klara Montag

        Los mexicanos habláis otra variedad del español. Tú hablas la variedad mexicana y yo la castellana. Ninguna es mejor que la otra. Que te guste más la tuya me parece estupendo. A mí me gusta más la mía, que es la de Cervantes. Lo de “pendejos” te lo puedes ahorrar y así yo me ahorro llamarte otras cosas.

      • Elio Antonio

        Los americanos soléis hablar excelente español, es cierto, pero tenéis cierta tendencia a incorporar anglicismos salvajes; sobre todo los mexicanos y los caribeños, a causa de la proximidad, supongo. Es una lástima, porque vuestra sintaxis suele ser fantástica, conserváis giros bellísimos que en la parte europea se han perdido y la riqueza y precisión de vuestro vocabulario son enormes.

        • León Subiri

          Estoy contigo.

    • miguel

      that pissed me off!! haha. Smecially the wine thing, living in La Rioja myself

    • Erica İncir Ağacı

      jajajajja, muy cierto xD

    • Delilah

      It is not. Absolutely. French wine is superb but it is much stronger and far more expensive than Spanish, and it is thus how it got the reputation. But not better. Spanish wine is a vastly unknown wine as yet.

      • Leonardo Mignani Goes

        I can see you dont know too much about wine…

        • Dionysios

          No, I regret to say that Delilah is right. Twenty years ago I would have gone along with those who say French wine is better, but today I am convinced that the overall quality of Spanish wine is extremely high. Even in the high end, where i”the French can boast of being well represented, there are several Spanish wines present, Vega Sicilia being regularly quoted as the best wine in the world (I would tend to agree for certain years). I spend about 3.000€ in wine every year, and not exactly as an investment, so believe me if I say that you can hardly beat Spanish wines at price-quality ratio.

          • Leonardo Mignani Goes

            People say the darnest things on the Internet… everybody can be an specialist…

            If you and this Delilah wants to go against 95% of the wine experts in the world, congrats. But do not try to show that you have a better opinion because you prefer x or z.

            I like Spanish wine, but in a nice restaurant I would go on a French or Italian wine easily over the Iberian one.

          • Marcos

            French wine is great, I think nobody doubts that, but Spanish wine is, in general, not worse at all. However, French wine is usually overpriced. Compare a Spanish and a French wine of the exact same price and the Spanish will most probably be better. That’s because of the great marketing France has around its wine (it’s not a criticism, it’s actually a very smart move). And most Spanish or French wines can kick the ass of Italian wine every day of the year.

          • Coque

            Leonardo, I have to say that blind wine competitions, the ones without knowing the wine you are tasting, where cancelled after a Spanish wine won the 1st price in a competition in France, judged by french experts. They were so ashamed that they stopped doing this kind of competition.

      • Argolla

        French wine stronger ? French wine more expensive ? Spanish wine unknown ? Ok…..

    • Carlos Arcediano

      No, el vino francés no tiene por qué ser mejor que el español
      No, french wine is not necessary better than spanish one

    • vladimir

      Yeah, I already hate you

    • Klara Montag

      Definitely yours are better than the ones mentioned in the article.

    • Crissy

      What u mean french wine is better??? U don’t know what u r sayin!!!

    • Criis Limón

      Many types of French wine are made of Spanish grapes, bitches!

    • jimmy

      So SO much better than original post. The original post mostly applies for anyone insulting anyone in any different county or culture. This narrows it down more and applies more the actual spanish.

    • María Gon

      Cuan ciertas las tres primeras.
      Con respecto a la cuarta… te diría más bien. .. cómo cabrear a un portugués? Dile q portugal es España.

      • Carlos

        Es que ES España. Otra cosa es que no sea parte del país que llamamos “Reino de España”. Pero, técnicamente, España es toda la península. Los portugueses se llamaban a sí mismos españoles hasta bien entrado el siglo XVIII.

        • María Gon

          ERA de España. Técnicamente no veo dónde vas a encontrar q Portugal es España. Según esas técnicamente los catalanes eran un reino independiente, y podrían llamarse no españoles, como ya lo hacen x cierto. Igual históricamente puedes decir que la península era España: ya no.

          • León Subiri

            Portugal no es España, al igual que Cataluña nunca fue un reino independiente.

    • Jaime Wallace

      Pretend you don’t know where Spain is. the problem is when they dont have to “pretend” it and they dont know where actually is.

    • Tim

      Any reason they have to be ‘white’ and not European or just Spanish? tia.

  • Alfonso Amo

    “when the Moors were in power 500 years ago”… yeah, let’s party like it’s 1992…

  • Francisco Sánchez

    rolfl! “I shit in the fourteenth kilometer of the cuckold’s horns of your father.” :D

  • Daithí Ó Phintór

    You can also write a pile of cock like this to piss off a Spaniard.

  • Dani Lopez

    -There’s no equivalent in the language for a simple “Fuck you.” -
    MEEEEC. We say “que te jodan”, and we use it a lot. It literally means “fuck you”.

    • Susana Martinez Casal

      no jodas

    • Amy

      You might use it a lot.. but please do not generalise. There is well-educated people in Spain too.

    • say whatt!!!

      que te jodan, que te follen, que te den, que te zurzan…we have a few more

  • Pablo Perrino

    I once heard my aunt say “Me cago en el hueso mas rancio de la calavera de tu puta madre” (I shit in the most rancid bone in the skull of your fucking mother). From my point of view, nothing can ever surpass the greatness of that sentence.

    • Julio Diaz

      My grandfather was a typical Spanish blasphemer…he would look at the calendar everyday to see which saint day it was, so he could shit on that saint…”me cago en San Saturnino, me cago en San Marcelino, me cago en San Estuardo” …..etc,etc,etc.

  • Pablo Andujar Guerrero

    Man I’ve never heard those strange insults you mention about the milk and the mother. And we do have a very nice and common analogous to fuck you: que te jodan.

    • María

      “Que te den”, más bien, ¿no? El “que te jodan” es ese español de cine/televisión.

      • Víctor Quero

        I would say that “que te jodan” can also be spontaneously heard, as well as “que te follen”. But, curiously enough, I think this two phrases would rather be used among groups of friends who don’t really intend to insult each other. All depends of the context, of course.

    • Espanish

      “Me cago en la leche de la madre que te parió”, ¿no lo has oído nunca? :P El que no pillo es el del decimocuarto kilómetro de los cuernos… Jajaja.

      • Paco

        Yo he oido “me cago en la leche” y “me cago en la madre que te parió”, pero nunca las dos cosas mezcladas jajaja. Y el otro insulto que dice ya ni te cuento XD

        • Miguel

          Creo que es mas, me cago en la leche que te dieron que si que es muy común..

    • Erica İncir Ağacı

      ¿me cago en la leche de la madre q te parió? Weird…

    • Teresa T.

      “¡Me cagüen la leche que has mamao!” Is the most common expression my mother says when I’ve done something wrong on purpose and with funny intentions… and “Me cagüen la leche que te dieron/ que te han dao” are also classics for me. Of course we’ve got the “que te jodan” but I reckon it’s more friendly used here than in the states. If you really want to insult here, I think you’ll usually use expressions involving the mother and dead relatives of the person you’re trying to hurt. But maybe the problem is that we’re in a country where cursing is very normalized and hurts nobody if not accompanied with angry gestures and attempts of physical aggression (which is, sadly, a usual way to solve problems).

      • bon

        First time I heard that “me cago en la leche de tu puta madre que he mamado” as a gringa learning spanish in Seville, I nearly died. The Spaniards have mastered the art of cursing to a whole new level but that being said, they are the most loving, generous people that I have ever encountered in my life and my year abroad was the most wonderful unforgettable experience of my life. Ole!!!!

        • Miguel

          they are better like “mal dolor te de que cuanto mas corras mas te duela y si te paras revientes”. Imposible de traducir (Impossible to translate) ;D

    • lgs

      pablo, en serio nunca has oido “me cago en la leche de la puta madre que te trajo”?

  • Mars Attacks

    There are good topics, but if I had to choose something that pisses me off would be to say that all (or even most of) Spaniards loves bullfights :(

    • Erica İncir Ağacı

      Agree!

    • cinco

      That’s so untrue!! Most people under 40 hate it. That’s a rich/old people thing.

      • spaniardd

        Youre right!! I liked Francos mention (brutal dictator) is very nice! good article!! :)

    • Javier Alemán

      That’s not true. There are regions in Spain (Canary Islands, Catalonia) where bullfighting is forbidden.

      It’s more a rich conservative political plaything, and mostly its fans are from the right wing mindscape. If you ask anyone under 40, the most probable answer is “I don’t like it”

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1537779314 Persona Discreta

        Forbidden by political reasons, to show it’s reject to everything spanish.
        And no, it’s not something only for he right-wing elders. It’s not as popular as it was, but there’s still A LOT of people of all political views and ages that like bullfighting (not me, by the way).

        • Javier Alemán

          If you say so…

          In the Canary Islands bullfighting is forbidden since 1991, and I think it wasn’t a political thing. Even the canarian PP voted for that…

          • Juan

            Proud of living in the Canary Islands!

      • Juan J

        Right wing??????? Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha… I’m sure you’re not talking about all the socialist (PSOE) and left wing (IU) people who have been going to the bullfighting in Andalucía ALL THIS YEARS!!!! No tienes ni idea macho. Ahora la izquierda es independentista, antitaurina, del Barça, a favor de bajar los impuestos… nos sabéis ni dónde estáis, y os están lloviendo todas y ni idea de por dónde os llegan. Los toros de derechas… por favor, ay que ser ignorante. Los toros han sido de toda la vida del pueblo tío, DEL PUEBLO LLANO, como los bares y el fúrrrbol. Qué dices de los toros son de derechas???? Atontao!!!

        • Juan J

          Hay*

  • Dan Rub

    Hummm… You should do some research about south-spainiards… The “gitanos” are not that piss-able as you may think, and will hurt you… Deeply… In your precious parts…

    • Susana Martinez Casal

      los gitanos viven en todo el mundo

      • Juande

        No, según nuestro colega viven sólo en el sur de España… pero vaya, que cualquiera puede decir la primera chorrada que se le ocurra, para eso mostrar la idiotez a todo el mundo en Internet es gratis

  • Henry Thompson

    Spain is Asturies and the rest is conquered land.

    • Susana Martinez Casal

      eso querias

      • Isnotgoldallthatglitters.

        Y tu que fuera mentira.

    • blackjack

      Cádiz is Spain… The rest is french territory

      • elrocedetupiel

        te lo ha puesto a huevo jejeje. Zas en toda la boca!!

      • Henry Thompson

        Jajajaja! Blackjack, soy asturiano y me descojono cada vez que algún paisano me suelta lo de la Reconquista y lo de ‘Asturias es España y el resto…’, porque, para empezar, Pelayo era ¡cántabro! Pero quise poner la frase para ver la reacción… Muy bueno lo de ‘french territoriy’, pero, entonces, al sur de Cádiz, ¿qué está Gran Bretaña? :P

      • Sergio A. Garcia

        Arabia…..

        aunque hay que reconocer que si Napoleón llegase hoy dia a Puerta Tierra… no habria gaditanas con tirabuzones que les repeliesen… todo en su momento y su contexto hace historia….

  • essie

    As a Spaniard, this article and its broad generalisations slightly offend me.

  • Marco Sánchez Aleman

    Aaaah Tom, Tom, Tom, you is the usual tourists (Guiri) laying lazily on the beaches, LOL

  • Ana

    Well, in fact we do have an equivalent for “Fuck you”. “Que te jodan” or “Que te den” will do the job. ;)

  • Juande

    “Yo no estoy gordo, yo estoy guardando mierda pa cagarme en tos tus putos muertos”, which means “I’m not fat… I’m saving my shit to dump it on all your fucking dead relatives”. I’ve always regarded Spanish cursing as the most imaginative in the World.

  • Guest

    I really want to believe that this was meant to be a light-hearted ironic article, but some of them are generalizations of a poor taste: “It’s said that the first three words a Spanish child learns are fútbol, Barça and Real (Madrid).” Excuse me though, but I’m Spanish and I think the first words I learnt were probably “Mamá” y “Papá” and I think that is the usual, I don’t think that Spaniards want to be Also this one: “Anyone who has ever been in a group of Spaniards knows that there’s no such thing as waiting for someone else to finish speaking before speaking themselves. If there are four Spaniards in a group, there are four people talking. And, as they talk, the volume increases as they each try to make themselves heard above the others.” Again, I think this was meant to be a joke of some kind, some stereotypical joke. Guess what? No one likes stereotypes, maybe they feel offended beucase they can relate to those facts, of maybe they are offended because they don’t. So, If I were you, I would avoid these kind of articles or at least I’d be more careful with my comments. And if you don’t care about offending people, please accept the hate and comments of offended people because they will come. And soon. And yes, I’m offended precisely because I’m a Spaniard and me and many of my friends hate football due to said “stereotype”.

    • Lucía

      The truth is, to the eyes of cultures with different politeness systems, particularly those where distance and respect, as apposed to closeness and familiarity, are valued, we all talk at the same time. Linguists have studied this and it is a fact: overlaps are common, it is considered correct to finish each other’s sentences, and silence is avoided at all costs. And yes, this does makes the volume get louder, which to us if you think about it will usually just mean that everyone is happy, that they are all enjoying themselves and feel comfortable in a different country. For foreigners from cultures where silence is valued and you are supposed to let a few seconds of silence pass after someone else’s intervention, it takes a lot of practice to learn how to get involved in a fluent conversation. There is nothing wrong with that, it is just a cultural difference. Different cultures have different communicative styles, and ours is tolerant of loudness but intolerant of silence. Personally, I sometimes miss that when I’m abroad.

    • Miguel

      Si que hay alguna generalización, pero lo de que hablamos todos a la vez y ademas que no nos importe gritar es totalmente cierto. O al menos por toda la franja Aragón-Rioja-Navarra-Castilla y León.

      • Luis Saguillo

        Yo e estado viviendo en Madrid desde que naci hasta los 23,y ahora estoy viviendo en Ponferrada y es cierto que gritamos pero normalmente es para que nuestra compañía nos oiga bien, por que pensamos que los demás hacen mucho ruido, supongo que esto esta inscrito en nuestro código genético…. da igual de que parte seas (de Cádiz, Finisterre o Jaca eso da igual)

      • Juan

        Jjajaja, me ha hecho mucha gracia lo de Miguel y es que en esa zona se grita mucho. Especialmente en Aragón. Y lo digo con mucho cariño porque tengo muchos amigos de Zaragoza que hablan muy alto. ¡Un saludo a todos los maños!

      • Teresa

        ¿Castilla y León silenciosa? ¿Los aragoneses silenciosos? Permiso, pero no. Justamente los sitios donde se ha trabajado más en el campo son los sitios donde la gente tiende a gritar más en las conversaciones, según mi experiencia. Mi familia es enteramente Castellana, y aunque yo haya nacido y vivido mi vida en Barcelona, se me ha educado de la manera tradicional del centro de España, incluyendo la constumbre de hablar a gritos que me ha creado algún que otro problema en Cataluña. En el pueblo de mi madre, en la prvincia de Burgos, nadie llama a la puerta de tu casa y espera a que salgas para hablar, pega un grito que atraviesa muros de piedra de varios centímetros de grosor y, por supuesto, espera que le contestes de la misma manera. Probablemente sea una costumbre adquirida de los campos, con grandes extensiones de tierra y trabajadores espaciados que debían elevar la voz para comunicarse entre ellos, en la que también influye el tamaño de las casas, en las que convivían varias generaciones de una familia y el tamaño de los muros de esas casas. Con esto no quiero decir que no les guste el silencio, para nada. Aprecian, respetan y necesitan el silencio como buenos habitantes de regiones frías que son, pero junta a un grupo de castellanos alrededor de un buen vino y una fuente de calor y pon un medidor de decibelios al lado, a ver cuanto tarda en llegar a nivel crítico ;) Yo les doy el tiempo que tarden en acabar la primera botella.

    • Fernando

      Perdona que discrepe señor Guest, pero el que escribe el artículo tiene razón en la mayoría de las cosas, aunque muchos se la quieran quitar.

      Primeramente, este es un artículo para echar unas risas. No se si te has fijado pero hay, a la derecha del artículo, enlaces a el mismo tipo de artículo pero para otros países. He leído unos cuantos y he de decir que con los españoles se ha quedao corto. Yo esperaba más carnaza.

      Por tu indignación en lo de que nuestras primeras palabras son Mamá, Barça, Madrid… ¡vamos! se ve a mil leguas que es una exageración dicha aposta para mencionar que a la mayoría de españoles nos gusta el fútbol y que la mayoría son del Barça o del Madrid. Lo cual es cierto. Y cuando digo “mayoría” es: “más del 50%” (lo digo por la gente que asocia “mayoría” con “100%”, que hay unos cuantos). En España parece que sólo hay fútbol. En otros países se le da importancia a otros deportes además del fútbol (aunque este siga siendo el mayoritario), tanto medios de comunicación como la gente. En España alcanza algo de importancia el Baloncesto, Tenis, Formula 1 y para de contar.

      Vivo en Alemania desde hace unos años y también he vivido en Inglaterra además de haber conocido a gente de muchos países y culturas diferentes. Y sí, se nota muchas veces la diferencia en la forma de hablar.

      Cuando ha dicho que hay situaciones en las que hablan cuatro personas a la vez y aumenta el volumen de la conversación: ¡es totalmente cierto! Eso pasa en España. No pasa siempre, pero pasa. O que simplemente te corten mientras estás hablando para comenzar a hablar ellos: eso también pasa. Pero, por ejemplo, en Alemania no; y en el norte de europa tampoco (a no ser que vayan borrachos). Los restaurantes en Alemania e Inglaterra son silenciosos comparados con los españoles.

      Somos los que más nos insultamos en referencia a las madres, no lo neguéis: “¡La madre que te parió!”, “¡Tu puta madre!”, “¡Hijo de perra!”, “¡Me cago en tu madre!”; a cualquier insulto se puede responder “¡Tu Madre!”, “¡Tu madre calva!”, “¡Tu madre en bragas!”; “¡Saludos a tu madre!” (depende de quién lo diga), etc. Además de mucho más vocabulario de insultos que toda Europa entera (exageración). Cierto es que, alguna vez, lo decimos en tono de broma y sin ánimo de ofender, o en tono irónico. Sin embargo, ten cuidao cuando hables con alemanes que, a veces, las ironías no las pillan. Si, por ejemplo, alguien te hace un regalo y le dices en tono irónico “¡Qué tonto, no tendrías que haberlo hecho!”, se lo pueden tomar a mal: primero, porque piensan que no te gusta el regalo; y segundo porque les has llamado “tonto” y eso es un insulto. Y un “insulto” es un insulto, lo digas como lo digas.

      Lo único del artículo que me ha chocao es cuando comenta que decimos: “I shit in the fourteenth kilometer of the cuckold’s horns of your father”. Eso no lo había escuchao en mi vida, pero tiene su gracia jaja.

      Bueno, iba a escribir dos frases y me he liao…

      ¡¡Saludos a todos de un alicantino desde Alemania!!

  • Aixa Alma

    I really want to believe that this was meant to be a light-hearted ironic article, but some of them are generalizations of a poor taste: “It’s said that the first three words a Spanish child learns are fútbol, Barça and Real (Madrid).” Excuse me though, but I’m Spanish and I think the first words I learnt were probably “Mamá” y “Papá” and I think that is the usual, in ALL cultures. Also this one: “Anyone who has ever been in a group of Spaniards knows that there’s no such thing as waiting for someone else to finish speaking before speaking themselves. If there are four Spaniards in a group, there are four people talking. And, as they talk, the volume increases as they each try to make themselves heard above the others.” Again, I think this was meant to be a joke of some kind, some stereotypical joke. Guess what? No one likes stereotypes, maybe they feel offended beucase they can relate to those facts, of maybe they are offended because they don’t. So, If I were you, I would avoid these kind of articles or at least I’d be more careful with my comments. And if you don’t care about offending people, please accept the hate and comments of offended people because they will come. And soon. And yes, I’m offended precisely because I’m a Spaniard and me and many of my friends hate football due to said “stereotype”.

  • Víctor Quero

    Pablo, the author obviously means “Me cago en la leche que mamaste”, which nowadays is a quite archaic insult. We do use “me cago en la leche”, though not as an insult against people, but as an expression of annoyance because of some unpleasant situation. Furthermore, “la leche” (the milk) it’s not an insult at all, but rather an expression of surprise or even admiration.

  • Víctor Quero

    Now, what really shocked me about this article is the description of Catalonia (“the area around Barcelona”) O_O, and Basque Country (“the area around San Sebastián and Bilbao”). Well, the Basque Country is smaller, and maybe such a description will do (more or less), but certainly Catalonia is not only the area around Barcelona. I wouldn’t call Viella or Tortosa just “the area around Barcelona” (please take a map).

    • Jorge

      According to Tom, Spain must be the area around Madrid

  • Jose

    “The brutal dictator died in 1975, but his successor party is in power in Spain now”… Well done, you pissed me

    • pepin

      *off

      btw, you’re a retard

    • luis saguillo

      me too….. :(

    • Juan J

      No ffuckin idea this guy! PP = Franco???? Hahahahahahaha… WTF?????

      • Juan J

        Éste se ve que es del “gremio”. O se ha topado con unos “rogelios” que ni te cuento. Que ojo con los independentistas no los vayas a llamar españoles que se enfadan. Y con los del PP que son los sucesores de Franco… Jajajajajaja… Flipa!! Ni puta idea macho!!!

  • hazukihachi

    Well I’m spaniard too and this is one of the few articles in the hole Internet I agree with

  • unomás.

    Poor article of a poor journalist, dear Tom, you’re not learning anything in your travels, maybe you should fatten your knowledge much more than your big belly. Simpático.

  • Erica İncir Ağacı

    jajajajajja, muy bueno!!!!!

  • Pasaba por aquí

    Tom, you forgot something: the ‘black legend’ about spanish conquerors.

  • cladovalle

    This is such a great article! I read it with a smile on my face the entire time… I’m in love with all things Spain-related – be it the people, the food, the landscapes. And if someone minimize the Spanish culture, I’ll join you and insult their mother, as well!

  • Carol Hernandez

    or refer to us as ” Latinos”…not good !

    • Juan J

      We ARE latinos… more even than the ones in America… those are Latino-americanos.

  • Terri Walsh

    Is that all forfucks sake lolllllllllllll.

  • Alacran

    ‘Proud of their membership in the European Union’. Trust me, that is nonsense and you should rephrase that to depict a very euro skeptic landscape. Most of us in Spain, especially nowadays, regret the moment we joined the EU.

  • Javier Navarro

    Completely true! Eres un crack, jajajaja!

  • David Square

    Be careful doing this, coz if a spanish starts to insult you, you may gonna need a psychologist

  • Hallaballu

    PP the successor party of Franco? Wow… now I really don’t know what political corner you come from *irony off*

    • Juan J

      Yeah! Maybe… LEFT?!?!?!?!?!?! Hahahahahahaha

  • roque_gabriel@hotmail.com

    the greatest insult to an spaniard “you all meet the topics here below” XDDDD so fun, will share with all my friends (greetings from ibiza!)

  • carrasko90

    PP = Franco ¿?

    • JuanJ

      YEAH!!! WTF?????

  • Ed

    hehe The other funny thing is, these things like “Africa begins at the Pyrenees.” are happening in the real life, specially if the ignorant people are from the States or simply from a neighbor country like UK! hehe :D

  • mariusama

    Actually, I’m Spanish and these are most of the things I do to piss my acquaintances off when I don’t like them. Very good research job XD

  • Virtu

    I’m pissed off ;)

  • RobertoExpat

    Sir, I would consider the whole post quite insulting and based on a rather limited knowledge, but I want to believe all the overstatements used here are meant to be a funny caricature (which fails to be). I would not trust your portrayals of any other places you’ve been to and purport to know.

  • Laura

    I am a Madrileña and have never heard those cursing sentences… to be honest… similar ones yeah, but not those ones. And indeed, we do have a curse which is similar to Fuck you, which is Jódete (Go fuck yourself), or Que te jodan (Fuck you).

  • Laura

    Again, you are really pissing me off with those lines up there. Yes, we might talk “a little bit” on top of the others, but we do care what others are saying and we listen to it, albeit we have developed the ability of doing both at the same time. Envious? ;) Just train yourself… you’ll see it’s not that hard.

  • Mario Sancho

    Hey, no Spaniard would refer as Real for Real Madrid. It is refeared as “el Madrid” better than “el Real”. Many spanish teams have the Real word in their name (as it is a privilege given by the King).

  • rosauron

    “The brutal dictator died in 1975, but his successor party is in power in Spain now”… Well, mate… That’s not exactly true. The party in the power is not his successor, though both are conservative… But Franco was more ultra-conservative (in the line of Falange Española).

    I found this post very interesting (and funny) BTW ;)

  • RolandGarros

    Hey, i dont know who wrote this but let me tell a few things before someone gets a very wrong idea

    Mention Francisco Franco.

    Franco was a General, he had no party, so it is imposible that the party on government now a days comes from that regime… so before you talk about something you just dont know open a book. What you are saying it’s something like if I say that the Republican party is the successor of the British before the independence. It’s the very same bullshit

    Minimize the Spanish culture.

    The French used to have a saying, “Africa begins at the Pyrenees.” This was meant to be the ultimate insult to the Spanish. Perhaps when Franco was in power (or when the Moors were in power 500 years ago) the French had a point.
    FYI with Franco, the economy was the 2nd world economy which was growing the most during the 60′s just behind Japan and also, the moors were only in south Spain and that was more than 1000 years ago, not 500, once again please open a book

    • Naya

      You should open a book too. The muslims started to invade the Peninsula in 711 and they were fully conquered in 1492, so they were here until a little more than 500 years ago (we celebrated the 500th anniversary of Granada re-conquest in 1992), not 1000…unless you write from the future! And except from the north, they were all along the territory, not only the south.

      Also, I should remind you that we had a very bad period called “Autarquía”. And that nowdays most people think that Europe begins north of Pyrenees…and I think that’s right for many reasons.

  • Madrid Red

    “It’s said that the first three words a Spanish child learns are “fútbol, Barça and Real (Madrid)” – not too sure about this one. Real could also apply to Sociedad, Zaragoza, Betis, Valladolid, Unión Club de Irún, Burgos, Murcia or Oviedo. As far as I have been led to believe, Madrid is Madrid, here in Madrid.

    • Madrid Red

      Also, there are plenty of Barça friendly bars in Madrid, not to mention Atleti strongholds where no tears would be shed for a Madrid loss.

  • Ivan

    Yet another article full of false commonplaces…

    Starting from the fact that you don’t shit on the milk of anybody. You berely cry “I shit on the milk!” when something bad happens to you, but it is not used to insult anybody. I guess you took this once from “For whom the bells toll” by Hemingway, an excellent book in which we makes exactly this same mistake repeatedly.

    Not to mention your statement “All of these people regard themselves as citizens of their own region first and, except for the Castilians, of Spain second”, that is everything but true. About 95% of Galicians consider themselves fully Spanish, and about 50% of Basques and Catalans. And well, of course you obviate the fact that Catalan is spoken in all the Eastern coast and the Mediterranean islands, and so on and so forth.

    Interesting article, but any truth fact here is purely coincidental…

    A Spaniard

  • Rob

    Tell me ‘Una cerveza por favor’ (as the only sentence you know in spanish)
    -
    Tell me, Spain yeah, I have been in Barcelona (There is only one place
    in Spain and that is Barcelona, sometime I think we are as big a San
    marino)
    - Tell me, I love paella ( as this is the only dish we have and you have not even tried a good one)
    - Tell me, You do not look Spaniard, just because I am not dark, bearded.

  • Naya

    About the last point, well, actually you will notice that nowdays spanish minimize their own culture saying that this country is the worst among the worst. Lots of spaniards are very dissapointed with the situation right now. BUT, only a spanish can do that, we cannot tolerate a foreigner to say anything bad about Spain XDD It’s like “oh, shut up, look how bad is your own country too”. It’s weird, but it happens :p

  • Bits Libres

    “and Gallego, the language of the area north of Portugal.”
    THE AREA NORTH OF PORTUGAL!!! WTF!!!
    You really piss us off. Our land’s name is Galicia, and Galicia has nothing to do with Portugal. >: (

  • RixRoots

    The PP is not Franco’s successor party. It’s true that it is a conservative party that shares some values with the old regime, but saying that they are Franco’s successors is a very strong and untrue statement.

  • AJ

    Article starts out quite falsely, it is super easy to piss of a Spaniard, especially in Southern Spain. High temperatues = short fuses… anywhere you go

  • Teresa T.

    hahahahah “that’s some imaginative cursing” hahahahaahhaha
    Just for the record, we do have a translation for a simple “fuck you”, but we usually prefer to emphasize ;) For instance, my mum has always told me “I shit in the milk I breastfed you!” (“¡Me cago en la leche que has mamao!”), a curse that for me is a classic, but it’s actually not meant to hurt. Someone should collect the most imaginative Spaniard cursing and make a book. I would like a copy XD. Thanks for the post!

  • http://www.jorgebernal.info/ Jorge Bernal

    “driving in the fast lane when not passing”

    It’s not the “fast lane”, it’s the passing lane and you shouldn’t be on it unless you’re passing. That’s what the law says. Some people never leave the left lane though ;)

  • Ana

    I’m from Spain and I find this article is neither accurate nor funny at all. Ridiculously stereotypical.

  • Klara Montag

    “There’s no equivalent in the language for a simple Fuck you.” Well, actually, there is. We say “Jódete”, “Que te jodan”, “Que te den”, “Que te follen”… By the way, I don’t know where you got the other expressions you mention but I’m Spanish and never heard anybody saying the second one… “Joder”, “Hostia puta”, “Me cago en la puta/en la leche”… are far more common.

  • Juan J

    Ok. Nice article. But wrong in a couple of things:

    - The “Partido Popular” party, that is in power now, IT IS NOT THE SUCCESSOR PARTY OF FRANCO. Franco had no party, he was a dictator. If you wanna piss off a lot of spaniards (the millions who vote for this party to win), tell them that.

    - Africa has never begun in the Pyrenees. No matter who was living or ruling the iberian peninsula. French never had a point to say that.

    - Don’t give so much credit to the nationalism ideas of some people, espacially out of their regions… spaniards are REALLY tired of their separatism.

  • kittendelight

    This was fantastic! Notes duly taken. I’m pleased to say that I already talk that way LOL. I’m not very good at being quiet and if I think of something to say I must interrupt. I guess I should work on these habits unless I want to live in Spain

  • Crissy

    Que te jodan=Fuck you. We do say that too

  • profesorar

    While there might not be a simple equivalent to “fuck you”, there are several equivalents to the exclamatory “fuck!!!” For example: “Joder!”

  • juan

    u have no fucking idea of how we spanierds are

  • john

    fuck you=> que te jodan o jódete MDF

  • Alguien

    ¿Sabes? Esas cosas molestan mucho. ¿Sabéis lo que molesta más a los que hablan inglés? Que NO hables inglés.
    There you go. Translate it if you can.

    • Alguien

      But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like the post. It’s all true.

  • Alvar Fáñez

    The easiest way to piss off a couple of random spaniards is simply to let them talk about anything. They´ll start an argument within only 5 minutes. It will regard about politics, history, football, languages or differences between regions.

    Read the comments below for a proof of fact.

  • Random

    “There’s no equivalent in the language for a simple “Fuck you.””
    ????
    Jódete
    Que te follen
    Vete a tomar por culo.
    Vete a la mierda.
    Etc etc…

  • Alvaro

    “The brutal dictator died in 1975, but his successor party is in power in Spain now”. Wow… from all points of view this is not true!! And ofcourse not impartial.
    In Spain, like in Europe, there are 2 main political groups, The” center-right” ant the “center-left”, the first is not the successor of the “franquismo” as the cener-left is not communist.

  • jmaguerra

    We lack primary services? I don’t believe that’s a fair description of it, what makes you say that?

  • Manuel

    Sorry, but the partido popular is not succesor of Franco. This is what the socialist say. It is true that you can find Franco followers in the PP or other parties, but PP not equals Franco. I don’t support PP and I will never support them, but they are not what you are saying.

  • Ricard

    Just onething to make the article better: Catalan is not only “the language of Catalunya, the area around Barcelona”, it is the language of Catalunya, Valencia, Balearic Islands and some regions of Easter Aragon, as well as of Northern Catalonia (in France) and the Italian town of Alguer, in Sardinia. Having more than 9 million speakers, it is the only language of this size in the EU which is not official, becuase, among others, Spain has opposed to the officiality of Catalan in the EU. Languages with less speakers than Catalan, from Danis to Gaelic to Maltese, are official.

  • Maria

    El PP como legado de Franco?! El liberalismo y socialismo ya existía antes de la guerra civil… Y franco fue gobernador autoritario, lo cual no tiene nada que ver con partidos democráticos partiendo del origen. Y para el caso, ya ni siquiera se ven las diferencias de estas ideologías entre el PP y PSOE… Las unicas diferencias medio distinguibles son la mayor o menor intervención del estado en política social.

  • Joe

    Isn’t driving slowly on the fast-lane regarded as extremely outrageous everywhere?

  • eltigre

    wow, franco brutal dictator. go check your sources asshole

  • Diego

    The Spanish don’t curse like we do. There’s no equivalent in the language for a simple “Fuck you.”

    Yes, we have: “que te jodan / que te den”

  • catalina de aragon

    The political party that is on the power right now, does not have anything to do with Franco. They are moderate right… and they have many members that are actively against the regime . This article is not very well researched, and does not show much about how spanish are…
    This is an example of how to get an piss off an spaniard… ( you just did it with me)

  • wash

    People get bothered by what the post says about the wine or the language… I’m more concerned about the fact that he just called the PP the successor party of Franco. The dictator created a party called “falange FET /JONS”, which does currently exist but doesn’t get many votes. It is true that the party that now rules Spain (PP) is on the righ/conservative side, but it has nothing to do with the Falange. I didn’t vote for any of them if that’s what you’re wondering, but I find it insulting that you would make it seem that in Spain we would still support a dictatorship after all the suffering that came with the civil war and the period following the war.
    However, the rest of the post was funny.

  • Nachet

    <>
    What is this dude talking about? That’s completely untrue!!

  • ok

    if they are not Catalan they will probably and fiercely try to minimize Catalan culture or language, which is really rich. Ceck wikipedia. wiki in spanish is more partial about it, because is made by castillians. go to the catalan version of it or any other and you will see that many castillians or espanoles have some kind of bad feeling about catalans, because although they were conquered by castile, dicataorships never could erase the catalan language and spirit II*II we are a nation, like it or not, now dominated by spain but soon we will be free.

  • Angela

    who wrote this has no idea about history of Spain… Franco’s party successor ruling now? Are you crazy?

  • Carlos Ayerbe Gayoso

    really the present governing party is a successor of Franco? So it is not a democratic party. So right means Franco because he was a right wing dictator? As simple as this?

  • Javier

    What do you mean by saying that the sucessor party of Franco is in power???? That clearly comes from someone who knows very little about Spanish politics or who has only met radical left-wingers in Madrid, something which is very difficult in Madrid and shows you have had little interaction with locals.

  • miguel

    loved the part of franco where he says that the actual governing party is the successor of his own, when his own party “la falange” still exists and it is an active party (and definitely not in the government)

  • hazie

    Wow, the one about Franco was way over the limit. There is no such “successor party in power”, it is just another conservative party, as Bush was in the US. It’s kind of saying that Angela Merkel is Hitler’s successor. I, Spaniard, simply don’t think that’s something we should joke about!

  • Fernando González-Camino

    As a Spaniard I’d like to make a few points about this article, Mr. Bartel.

    1 – Not only the Castilians but people from many, many other regions also see themselves as citizens of Spain first, their region second.

    2 – it’s “por favor”, not “por favór” so don’t have a cocky attitude and lecture people about something you don’t master.

    3 – That story with the truck touching your bumper at 120km/h… I’ve been driving in Spain all my life and you may as well say that Santa Claus did it. Trucks cannot go over 100km/h and they NEVER do. Let alone touching other cars bumpers.

    4 – “Maldito Sea” means “damn they”. “Ojalá se quemen en el infierno” means “may they burn in hell”, know the difference.

    5 – FRANCO’S SUCCESSOR PARTY?? That is pure ignorance right there, who let you post this man? No comments on that. Also, do you “know your audience really well”? Because,as you know, there is a huge division in Spain about Franco and you’re clearly giving a one-sided opinion, so please do apply your own rule here.

    6 – “Africa begins at the Pyrenees (…) Perhaps when Franco was in power (or when the Moors were in power 500 years ago)”. The last Moors present in the Peninsula left in 1492, 520 years ago, but they stopped being in power waaay before that. So when you say the moors were in power 500 years ago, you should say 700/800 years ago, a diffference in time comparable to the gap between the creation of the USA and the present time.

    The thing is, when the Moors were in Spain, they had the some of the most complex and advanced cities in the world at that time, with sewage systems, proper medicine, astrology, science, incredible architecture and, for instance, the best hospital in the world for a long time was located in Córdoba. Those cities were centuries ahead of the rest of Europe, including of course London or Paris.

    About Franco, you can be for or against him but facts are facts. When he got on power, Spain was close hardly a Third World country. When he left, we were in the G8, one the fastest growing economies in Europe and the only dictator-ruled country to ever be a recognized member of the UN. That “Africa begins in the Pyrenees” actually makes more sense right now than ever.

    7 – No, we don’t “draw heavily on our Muslim and Jewish traditions”, we just don’t mate.

    It’s amazing that in every single rule that you wrote here, you’re breaking it yourself. How to piss off a Spaniard? Write about their country, history and culture pretending you know anything about it but just being completely ignorant. You really are the kind of tourist that REALLY pisses people off. Well done mate, you pissed off a Spaniard.

  • Fernando González-Camino

    As a Spaniard I’d like to make a few points about this article, Mr.
    Bartel.

    1 – Not only the Castilians but people from many, many other regions
    also see themselves as citizens of Spain first, their region second.

    2 – It’s “por favor”, not “por favór” so don’t have
    a cocky attitude and lecture people about something you don’t master.

    3 – That story with the truck touching your bumper at 120km/h… I’ve
    been driving in Spain all my life and you may as well say that Santa Claus did
    it. Trucks cannot go over 100km/h and they NEVER do. Let alone touching
    other cars bumpers.

    4 – “Maldito Sea” means “damn they”. “Ojalá se
    quemen en el infierno” means “may they burn in hell”, know the
    difference.

    5 – FRANCO’S SUCCESSOR PARTY?? I’ve heard of (Spanish) people that at
    this point had to stop reading this article. That is pure ignorance right
    there, who let you post this man? No comments on that. Also, do you “know
    your audience really well”? Because, as you know, there is a huge division
    in Spain about Franco and you’re clearly giving a one-sided opinion, so please
    do apply your own rule here.

    6 – “Africa begins at the Pyrenees (…) Perhaps when Franco was in
    power (or when the Moors were in power 500 years ago)”. The last Moors
    present in the Peninsula left in 1492, 520 years ago, but they stopped having
    real control over the Peninsula way before that. So when you say the moors were
    in power 500 years ago, you should say 700/800 years ago, a difference in time
    comparable to the gap between the creation of the USA and the present time.

    The thing is, when the Moors were in Spain, they had the some of the
    most complex and advanced cities in the world at that time, with sewage
    systems, proper medicine, astrology, science, incredible architecture and, for
    instance, the best hospital in the world for a long time was located in
    Córdoba. Those cities were centuries ahead of the rest of Europe, including of
    course London or Paris.

    About Franco, you can be for or against him but facts are facts. When he
    got on power, Spain was close hardly a Third World country. When he left, we
    were one the fastest-growing economies in Europe and the only dictator-ruled
    country to ever be a recognized member of the UN. That “Africa begins in
    the Pyrenees” actually makes more sense right now than ever.

    7 – No, we don’t “draw heavily on our Muslim and Jewish
    traditions”, we just don’t mate.

    It’s amazing that in every single rule
    that you wrote here, you’re breaking it yourself. How to piss off a Spaniard?
    Write about their country, history and culture pretending you know anything
    about it. Well done mate, you pissed off a Spaniard.

  • Fernando González-Camino

    As a Spaniard I’d like to make a few points about this article, Mr.
    Bartel.

    1 – Not only the Castilians but people from many, many other regions
    also see themselves as citizens of Spain first, their region second.

    2 – It’s “por favor”, not “por favór” so don’t have
    a cocky attitude and lecture people about something you don’t master.

    3 – That story with the truck touching your bumper at 120km/h… I’ve
    been driving in Spain all my life and you may as well say that Santa Claus did
    it. Trucks cannot go over 100km/h and they NEVER do. Let alone touching
    other cars bumpers.

    4 – “Maldito Sea” means “damn they”. “Ojalá se
    quemen en el infierno” means “may they burn in hell”, know the
    difference.

    5 – FRANCO’S SUCCESSOR PARTY?? I’ve heard of (Spanish) people that at
    this point had to stop reading this article. That is pure ignorance right
    there, who let you post this man? No comments on that. Also, do you “know
    your audience really well”? Because, as you know, there is a huge division
    in Spain about Franco and you’re clearly giving a one-sided opinion, so please
    do apply your own rule here.

    6 – “Africa begins at the Pyrenees (…) Perhaps when Franco was in
    power (or when the Moors were in power 500 years ago)”. The last Moors
    present in the Peninsula left in 1492, 520 years ago, but they stopped having
    real control over the Peninsula way before that. So when you say the moors were
    in power 500 years ago, you should say 700/800 years ago, a difference in time
    comparable to the gap between the creation of the USA and the present time.

    The thing is, when the Moors were in Spain, they had the some of the
    most complex and advanced cities in the world at that time, with sewage
    systems, proper medicine, astrology, science, incredible architecture and, for
    instance, the best hospital in the world for a long time was located in
    Córdoba. Those cities were centuries ahead of the rest of Europe, including of
    course London or Paris.

    About Franco, you can be for or against him but facts are facts. When he
    got on power, Spain was close hardly a Third World country. When he left, we
    were one the fastest-growing economies in Europe and the only dictator-ruled
    country to ever be a recognized member of the UN. That “Africa begins in
    the Pyrenees” actually makes more sense right now than ever.

    7 – No, we don’t “draw heavily on our Muslim and Jewish
    traditions”, we just don’t mate.

    It’s amazing that eyou’re breaking your own rules as you write them. How to piss
    off a Spaniard? Write about their country, history and culture pretending you know
    anything about it but just being a pretentious ignorant in the process.

    Well done mate, you pissed off a Spaniard.

  • marian

    Francos party (falange) hasn’t ruled since he died so they aren’t ruling right now! And even though people might not say thank you everytime you try to speak spanish it doesn’t mean that they don’t appreciate it!!!!

  • María Gon

    Ya estamos con el vino como con el queso. Dependerá de los gustos no? No soy una entendida en vinos pero lo q si sé es que el marketing extranjero siempre acaba superandonos. Sea mejor uno u otro… los franceses lo venden mejor, igual que venden París como la ciudad del amor en la que siempre brilla el sol y todo es alegría (vivid un año allí y me decís de ciudad del amor), ahora eso si… bonita como ninguna.
    El queso? Hay más variedad en Francia, cierto, y aún así me quedo con los españoles. A pesar de que mi preferido sea un francés, en general los quesos del norte y castizos son inigualables. Demasiada leche en los franceses. Repito, según los gustos.
    Ahora… que donde nadie nos gana aparte de nuestro jamón ibérico. … es en EL ACEITE. Cómo cabrear sobremanera a un español? Diciendole que el mejor aceite del mundo es el italiano: señores! !!!!! Los italianos exportan el aceite de andalucia, lo envasan en botes de cristal pijos de escasisima cantidad, y le quintuplican el precio!! Marketing puro, en el que una vez más. .. volvemos a fallar. Dato conocido de sobra ya es que Jaén produce el 85% del aceite de oliva mundial. (Quiero añadir que el balsámico de modena es un vinagre muy rico… que presenta similar calidad y sabor que un balsámico español… pero una vez más el marketing nos hace volvernos gilipollas)
    Desde luego los españoles somos un desastre… pero en gastronomía andamos bastante avanzados gracias a la maravillosa dieta mediterránea.

  • Pablo Trueba

    It’s absolutely wrong the expressions ….. most of the opinions …. If you where in Madrid I don’t know which sort of people fooled you, but for example “fuck you” means “que te jodan” wich is almost literally the translation and you say there is no equivalent??? Maybe here there is NO RESEARCH at all …

  • jahaja

    “Africa begins at the Pyrenees” used as an insult towards Spain. Way to piss off Africans!

  • rs

    I’ve never read such a lot nonsense together. O dicho en español…cuanta gilipollada.

  • Anita

    One of the first things I learned in life was to give the finger whenever someone said “Barcelona”

  • whatever

    This is the biggest piece of shit that I have read in ages. By the way, your mother likes to get pissed in her mouth. I’ve done it a few times. Are you angry? Then, you must be Spanish.

  • moni

    “try to get a word in edgewise” i cracked up there XDDDDDDDDDD
    that’s so true between friends haha

  • Ana

    this is bullshit, you haven’t understood the Spanish culture at all

  • faili

    Menuda pedazo de gilipollez de artículo!!!!!!!!! And that’s another curse.

  • Noé López Fernández

    I am Galician. I love the fact of knowing that now I am Portuguese…. Galiza is Galiza and even though Galician and Portuguese are varieties of the same language, my nationality is not Portuguese, but unfortunately Spanish. Galiza is a very old nation, and very proud!

    • say whatt!!!

      Galicia a nation now? heheheh funny!

  • BASQUE COMMENTATOR

    I SHOULD PROBABLY preface this
    whole thing by saying that it’s really not that easy to piss off a Spaniard,
    unless you’re overtly trying to do so. They, along with the people of Bali, are
    probably the most easy going and good natured people I’ve ever encountered. However,
    it is possible to anger a Spaniard, especially in certain circumstances.

    IT IS QUITE EASY IF
    YOU MENTION THE TYPICAL STEREOTYPES WITHOUT ENOUGH KNOWLEDGE OR TOUCH.

    Insult their
    mother. The Spanish don’t curse like we do. There’s no
    equivalent in the language for a simple “Fuck you.” Instead, most real curses
    invoke the purity, or lack thereof, of the cursee’s mother. I have two
    favorites I heard while I lived in Madrid. There’s the sort of standard, “I
    shit in the milk of the mother who bore you,” which is sometimes shortened to
    just, “the milk!” But my all time favorite is, “I shit in the fourteenth
    kilometer of the cuckold’s horns of your father.” That’s some imaginative
    cursing.

    THERE ARE MANY
    EQUIVALENTS TO FUCK YOU, IN FACT FUCK YOU IS TRANSLATED AS “QUE TE JODAN” AND
    THIS IS ALMOST AS COMMON AS FUCK YOU ITSELF. “ME CAGO EN LA LECHE DE LA MADRE
    QUE TE PARIO” IS NOT A STANDARD BUT A MIX OF TWO STANDARDS. IT WOULD SOUND
    WEIRD TO SAY “THE MILK!”. “LA LECHE!” IS VERY SELDOM USED. “ERES LA LECHE!”
    MEANS YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT SOMETHING OR THAT YOU ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO DEAL
    WITH. BUT IT’S UNCOMMON. THE HORNS’ ONE
    IS EVEN MORE UNCOMMON. “Me cago en el kilómetro 105 de tus cuernos”, WAS USED BY A TERRORIST AGAINST A JUDGE.

    Be insensitive to
    their “national” identity. Many people don’t
    know this, but there are at least four distinct languages spoken in Spain:
    Castellano, which is what we know as Spanish; Catalan, the language of
    Catalunya, the area around Barcelona; Basque, the language of the area around
    Bilbao and San Sebastián; and Gallego, the language of the area north of
    Portugal. All of these people regard themselves as citizens of their own region
    first and, except for the Castilians, of Spain second. In fact, the Basques and
    Catalans have very active “Secede from Spain” movements going right now. Be very
    careful of any generalizations about Spain whichever region you are in.

    THIS IS ABSOLUTELY
    TRUE. MANY OF US ARE COUNTED AS SPANIARDS AGAINST OUR WILL.

    Make no effort to
    speak Spanish, or whatever the language of the region you’re in. When you can manage a few phrases — even as little as por favór and gracias —
    the Spanish will bend over backward to use their few words of English to
    communicate with you. But just start out in English without making any attempt
    to meet them half way, and you’ll likely be dismissed as a tourist completely
    lacking in any grace…which you are.

    THIS IS NOT ENTIRELY
    TRUE. MANY KIND AND OLD PEOPLE WILL BE HAPPY TO GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS IN SPANISH
    IF YOU’RE LOST EVEN IF YOU DON’T SPEAK SPANISH. BUT IT IS TRUE THAT YOU WILL
    NOT BE VERY WELL CONSIDERED IF YOU DON’T SHOW SOME ABILITY WITH SPANISH OR THAT
    YOU UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU COMMUNICATE IN SPANISH HERE. THAT
    DOES NOT APPLY TO OTHER NATIONAL LANGUAGES, THOUGH.

    Drive slow in the
    fast lane. The highways in Spain are a
    lot better than they used to be. Most of the two lane roads have periodic spots
    where a passing lane is provided. But woe to him who is driving too slow (ie,
    less than 20 km/h over the speed limit), or driving in the fast lane when not
    passing. I once had a truck touch my bumper to suggest I hurry up. At the time
    I was going 120 km/h. Just keep right at all times is my advice.

    THIS IS MOSTLY TRUE.
    IS N’T IT THE SAME ANYWHERE ELSE?

    Cheer for the
    Barcelona soccer team when you’re in a bar in Madrid. And vice versa. It’s said that the first three words a Spanish child learns
    are fútbol, Barçaand Real (Madrid). At least one
    of the latter two words is often preceded by maldito sea, which
    means “may they burn in hell.” Imagine cheering for the Red Sox in a Manhattan
    bar. You get the picture.

    YOU WILL BE LABELLED
    IDIOT IF YOU SAY “MALDITO SEA MADRID” OR “MALDITO SEA BARÇA”. NOBODY SAYS THAT.
    BUT IT IS TRUE THAT DOING THE BAR THING IS OFFENSIVE BECAUSE IT IMPLIES A WILD XENOPHOBIC
    RIVALRY.

    Mention Francisco
    Franco. The brutal dictator died in 1975, but his successor
    party is in power in Spain now. There is no such thing as a Spaniard without an
    opinion on his rule. Best to just avoid the topic unless you know your audience
    really well.

    NOT SO TRUE. MOST
    PEOPLE WILL JUST SAY “HE WAS THE DEVIL”, “HE WAS A DICTATOR”, OR THE TYPICAL
    SENTENCE “WITH HIM WE LIVED BETTER”, BUT THEY WON’T GET TOO EXCITED.

    Try to get a word
    in edgewise. Anyone who has ever been in a
    group of Spaniards knows that there’s no such thing as waiting for someone else
    to finish speaking before speaking themselves. If there are four Spaniards in a
    group, there are four people talking. And, as they talk, the volume increases
    as they each try to make themselves heard above the others. Actually, this
    doesn’t really piss Spaniards off, that nobody is listening. It’s just the way
    it is. It will piss you off a lot more than them.

    THIS IS AN
    EXAGGERATION.

    Minimize the
    Spanish culture. The French used to
    have a saying, “Africa begins at the Pyrenees.” This was meant to be the
    ultimate insult to the Spanish. Perhaps when Franco was in power (or when the
    Moors were in power 500 years ago) the French had a point. But now the Spanish
    are extremely proud of their membership in Europe. And, they’re even more proud
    of their cultural heritage that draws heavily on their Christian, Muslim, and
    Jewish traditions. Trying to minimize their culture, and their contribution to
    that of the world, pisses off not only them, but me, too. Unless you want me to
    say something about your mother, don’t do it.

    THE RICHNESS
    OF THE CULTURE IS NOT CONTRADICTED BY AFRICA BEGINNING AT THE PYRENEES. IT’S
    NOT TRUE THAT THIS SAYING OFFENDS ALL SPANIARDS. MOST WILL GET CONFUSED BY THE
    GEOGRAPHICAL TERMS AND LOSE INTEREST IN THE PHRASE. OTHERS WILL LAUGH KNOWING
    THAT AFRICANNESS CAN INDEED BE A DESCRIPTIVE TERM OF THE CULTURE, NOT IMPLYING
    THAT IT IS MINIMIZED OR POOR. THE FRENCH HAD NO POINT WHEN THE MOORS WHERE IN
    POWER, BECAUSE THE MOORS’ CULTURE WAS VERY RICH. THEY WERE NOT IN POWER 500
    YEARS AGO: THEY QUITTED BEING THE MAIN POWER 1000 YEARS AGO AND THEY LOST ALL
    OF IT 522 YEARS AGO. SPANIARDS NEVER SHOW MUCH PRIDE OF THE MEMBERSHIP,
    ESPECIALLY AFTER 2008. THEY ARE MORE PROUD OF THEIR PERSONALITY AND OF TYPICAL
    CULTURAL HABITS OF TODAY, THAN OF HISTORICAL CULTURAL WEALTH, POWER OR
    INFLUENCE.

  • Silvio Requena

    WTF!!!!

    Mention Francisco Franco.

    The brutal dictator died in 1975, but his successor party is in power in Spain now. There is no such thing as a Spaniard without an opinion on his rule. Best to just avoid the topic unless you know your audience really well.

    There is soooo many things wrong on this paragraph!!! “but his successor party is in power in Spain now” this is a lie. And brutal dictator? What do you know…

  • sonsoles

    An equivalent for “Fuck you” is “Que te den”

  • a catalan

    we use to say a lot that bit about “africa begins in the pyrenees”. Some of us are quite critical with spain as a whole… (that must be because I’m catalan, I guess).

    You worked it out pretty well. Congrats.

  • Jaime Wallace

    “I shit in the fourteenth kilometer of the cuckold’s horns of your father.”?? jajajaja… you lived with someone of huelva? Ji

  • anonimous

    You don’t know anything about spanish people, in fact, the only thing true about us is that we can surprise you in the most unpredictable way of things, because we are unpredictable, in fact, a spanish person with an acceptable level of culture can know your own culture better than you, and that is the better way to piss off a british or english speaker (traditions, history, culture, specially traditions), be aware to make angry an spanish, because he can destroy your argument with subtle argument and in the next minute smash your face without any kind of logic.

  • Cris

    Los arabes dominaron la Península hace mas de 500 años, la verdad es que los dos articulos que he leido son un poco sin sentido, no se donde has vivido , pero te has mezclado poco con las gente de España.

  • Founder Ceo

    The english part is entirely untrue. As the EU turns more and more into the EU of the USA, English is so popular that I’m
    actually pissed about wasting so much time learning foreign languages. It seems as most people from spain visiting the US
    speak more and better english than I do.

  • MEH

    Popular Party is not Franco’s successor

  • Azgard

    Also… say Gibraltar and the waters around it are Brittish… xD

  • Xavi

    And you put an example of some 60€ wines?

  • Amalita

    The party in power nowadays is NOT Franco´s successor party,thank God¡¡¡Where did you get that idea????????I´m Spanish,by the way.

  • Real spanish

    successor party of Franco is in power in Spain now? Really interesting… Falange has never been at the power since Franco died.

  • Spaniard :)

    Good article! Only one thing: Franco’s party have never come back to the power again. (And yes, many people will get angry if you mention Franco, but the sad part of Spain is that many people still think that he was a great (one-testicled) “man”)..
    Apart from that the article is great, i laughed a lot with the roads part!

  • Españolito y tu puta madre

    I think the best way of calling this entire article or text will be Lost in Translation. Im going to use a direct translation of a spanish saying: you travel like a suitcase

  • MOni

    Tom Bartel… Asique el partido q gobierna ahora es el partido sucesor de Franco??? Creo q no te has enterado de nada mientras vivias en España!!

  • Davi Hadita

    There is a translation of Fuck you… ” que te jodan”, And does anyone in England try to speak in Spanish with me???

  • Slartibartfast

    “The brutal dictator died in 1975, but his successor party is in power in Spain now” Successor party? This is the most moronic statement I’ve read in years. And you call yourself a journalist…

  • Lauch

    There’s no equivalent in the language for a simple “Fuck you.”
    I just have to say.. ¡¡Qué te jodan!!

    “I shit in the milk of the mother who bore you,”.. and have never heard that.. I think you have no idea what are you talking about in the whole article..

  • Andrés Miguel Vega

    wow, we exist to englishmen now, maybe we evolved after all

  • Juanjo

    all this is a fake!! Mr. Bartel has no idea what he says. if he comes to Madrid I’ll show Spain and the Spanish people. Franco? but,
    where had you been my friend?. poor

  • tumadrequeteespiadesdelapuerta

    Just try to minimize anything Spaniards are proud of.
    La selección española or any other sport (like Rafa Nadal, Fernando Alonso,..) . The food. The invention of submarine, chupachups,.. Don Quijote. Spanish art. Spanish way of life. Spanish importance in Europe.
    Evenmore, compare it with others.

    We are very arrogant

  • Yomiuri

    I find the article funny and highly entertaining, as well as revealing for some foreigners. Yet as a native Spanish I also find some inaccuracies:

    - We indeed have a language equivalent (actually a few) for “fuck you”, such as “que te follen/jodan” or the milder “que te den” (excuse my French).
    Still in the cursing arena, our insult about the milk and the mother is not accurate either, we say “I shit on the milk you were fed with” (me cago en la leche que te dieron) or “I shit on the hooker of a mother who gave birth to you” (me cago en la puta madre que te parió), both of which, as correctly explained, are highly offensive for us.

    Other than that a very entertaing article.

  • jose

    PP (party) is right wing, but it’s not Franco’s successor hahahaha come on..

  • Felipe Robles Perales

    Esto me lo tradujo el traductor. ¡Vaya chorradas que ponen! Poca gente sabe hablar idiomas extranjeros y lo que ponen en artículo seguro que lo redactó un norteamericano. Estos se creen que América la descubrió un inglés y que el español es una lengua extranjera en Estados Unidos. De hecho el castellano antedata el inglés y el francés en Norteamérica. Además, para ellos una persona “Spanish” es de Hispanoamérica. Mira que son ignorantes.

  • k40s

    “There’s no equivalent in the language for a simple “Fuck you.””
    Yes, there are… “¡Jódete!” o “¡Qué te jodan!” :)

  • donny the don

    i lived in Madrid for 4 years and can vouch for all of these. best city ever. loved it. wish i was back there. my fave curse was ‘go shit on a hundred prostitutes’ – which my mate used whenever someone cut him up when driving.

  • Al Grossman

    Dear Tom Bartel,
    You don’t know a shit about Spain, nor the cursing nor our politics situation.
    Besides, we have another language, andaluz! And what about aragonés, murciano, extremeño, canario?
    eat that you motherfuck*r

  • Raúl Atreides

    One of the classics, more than the mother is the “deads”. Me cago en tus muertos, “I shit in your dead ancestors” is proved to work very well in some people.

  • Raúl Atreides

    Also, saying the latin american movie dubbing is better will grant you fierce discussions.
    Simpsons and Futurama sounds better in castillian!

  • Ricardo Establés Beitia

    Oh men…. Sorry but this is completely wrong….
    Mr. Tom Bartel, You should visit more places in Spain than Madrid and Barcelona.

    1.- “Catalan, the language of Catalunya, the area around Barcelona” <- the area??? Autonomous Community of Cataluña

    2.- Yes, we have an extra letter, Ñ, ñ, please Tom, learn it!

    3.- "Basque, the language of the area around Bilbao and San Sebastián;" <- Please man, don`t say stupid things…. had you really live in spain??? I dont think so…. <- first of all, don't forget Vitoria, because it's from there too…. <- And secondly, again… The area???? <- No man… Basque country!

    4.- "Gallego, the language of the area north of Portugal" <- this is….. LoL… <- The area north of portugal??? ohhh man…. gallego comes from Galicia, not from north of portugal…. (portuguese comes from portugal, right?)

    5.- " It’s said that the first three words a Spanish child learns are fútbol, Barçaand Real (Madrid). " <- maybe in your home, man but in the rest of spain, the first word its allways mamá=mother.

    6.- I recomend you not to make jokes about Francisco Franco, because many people got killed at the civil war, and its no funny to laugh about dead people. But yes man, everyone has an opinion of Franco, It could be good or bad, it depends on the side that you are.

    Tom…. if you were trying to joke about spaniards, maybe you should know us better before speaking.
    To finish this writting, All of you, that laughed of spaniards, please, dont come here on hollidays, we dont like you too :)

  • Ele

    Do you really know Spanish people???? You have no idea!!! Please go back to Spain and learn something.

  • Jorge Casals

    “There’s no equivalent in the language for a simple “Fuck you.”” There is: “Jódete” or “Que te jodan”.

  • sin

    only one is true –>

    Drive slow in the fast lane.

  • Tamara

    The brutal dictator died in 1975, but his successor party is in power in Spain now??????????????????? Falange is in power????

    now the Spanish are extremely proud of their membership in Europe??????

    Excuse meeeeeee??????

    Madre mía, ojalá nadie te lea, por que no tienes ni idea de España y su gente… a saber con quién te has juntado para hacerte esa idea de España y sobretodo espero que nadie te crea… madre mía…

  • james

    I have to say you are totally wrong in saying first of all that Francisco Franco was a brutal dictator (learn your history) and second that the party in power is his successor!! TOTALLY WRONG!!

  • Valencian

    Yoy know, Spain is far more different than you think, there is no such thing as “how to piss off a Spaniard”, because the languages you mentioned exist because current Spain is formed by countries which existed in the past. In other words, you may know how to piss off “Castillians” as people from Madrid., but not “catalans” or “basque” or “galicians” .The cliches you mention do not apply in all the spanish territory, you should get to know more about the countries that make up the spanish state.

  • Carmencita G.S.

    he brutal dictator died in 1975, but his successor party is in power in Spain now… ¿¿?¿?¿?¿?¿ wtf ??? PERO QUE TIPO DE BURRADA ES ESTA?????????????????

  • Nieves Jurado-Centurión Viñas

    Oh yeah and tell us that saucisson is French or Italian and go to a bar and ask for prosciutto.
    You are likely to be deported immediately.

  • Addam Marbrand

    To say that the french saying was right during the era of Francisco Franco is a little bit racist and insulting towards the africans, no?

  • Oscar

    To piss of Spaniards (I am one) only need to say
    - nice parma ham (when eating jamón iberico) or “parma ham is better”.
    - the olive oil comes from Italy or Greece (Spain has reached some harvest to almost the 50% of the world production)
    - say french wine or omelette is better than the Spanish one…
    That simple.
    Well and swear at the mother of one… (that piss off anyone though)

  • Spaniard

    WTF!!!! “The brutal dictator died in 1975, but his successor party is in power in Spain now.”

  • Víctor Gómez

    Completely disagree with 2 points claimed:

    1. “All of these people regard themselves as citizens of their own region first…” FALSE there are actually more citizens regarding themselves as citizens of Spain first. The problem is that the minority gets all the attention from the international media (TV, radio, internet…) because it’s a rare phenomenon.

    2. “The brutal dictator died in 1975, but his successor party is in power in Spain now” ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Spain is a democracy nowadays, and this party is in power nowadays because every single Spanish citizen had the right to vote.

    You should first gather statistics and proven information before writing