1. Your microscopic garage has a 5:1 bike to car ratio.

2. You look forward to Ferragosto but loathe all the campers on the autostrada.

3. Your house is never without Campari or Lavazza.

4. Your favorite swear words are now zio cane (uncle dog) and porca miseria (pig misery).

5. You start to believe that a random neck or abdomen pain is a colpo d’aria.

6. You never drink a cappuccino past 10 am.

7. You experienced a mixture of disgust and curiosity when the first 24-hour grocery store opened up in town.

8. You never say cheers or clink glasses with just water.

9. You’ll never again eat spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, fettuccine alfredo, or dump pasta on chicken.

10. You know there is no Italian word for privacy, and neither does your extended family.

11. You can be 30 minutes late to anything, and no one will mind.

12. You accept that you’ll probably live in the same building as your in-laws forever.

13. You say “Ciao” at least a dozen times before hanging up the phone.

14. You’ll never abandon your local coffee bar, even if that new Starbucks opens in town.

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