Whatever nuisance you’re asking for, you’re not going to get it here.
Just stop the bullshit, okay?
This one isn’t about underwear and it doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman. We just know you’re messing around, so we’re basically asking ‘are you trying to lie to me?’
In recent years, after the political scandals, a new wave of Portuguese insults showed up. Instead of cursing, we just replace the swear word with a name of a politician. And all you have to do is find out what scandal they were associated with. We can even innovate now and say, “your mother’s a politician.”
This one seems to be pretty self-explanatory. However, it may make you wonder, why are we cursing the day you were born and not the person who made us angry in the first place?
You are probably wondering where would you find a monkey? And if you did find a monkey, why would you comb it? Well, in the Middle Ages some people would comb donkeys and other animals for a job — a job no one else wanted to do.
You got us so angry that we actually want to have a little chat with Zeus himself. What should you do now? Well, according to popular Portuguese wisdom, go find your mother-in-law because no lightning can break her. (Não há raio que a parta!)
Yes, of course everyone is someone’s son or daughter, but for about a hundred years, a law made sure that only legit children would inherit the family’s assets, money and the prestige of the family surname — while children born outside of a marriage wouldn’t even get their father’s family surname. Nowadays, you could probably interpret this as a polite way of saying “you son of a bitch.”
The pool table might be just an imaginary place in our mind, but for the sake of the argument, why don’t you walk until you find it?
Of course you know you are “here,” and I can assure you this is not an invitation for a meal. It means things are heating up and might get physical, but not in a sexual way.
You’d better calm down, or ‘‘tás aqui, ‘tás a comer’ will apply.
Strange? Well, we are mammals who walk around wearing clothes. So I guess if another clothed mammal starts a fight, our clothes will be closer to our fur/skin than they have ever been before.
It’s probably about time you figured it out for yourself.
Don’t put a stick anywhere, but instead see this as a warning to be more careful with what you say and what you do in the future.
You’re the one causing all your trouble.
Just as with a hurricane, the eye is the centre, and the access to the street is just through the door you came from. So if you stay there or not, it’s your problem.
This is going to cause problems.
Your Portuguese friend is not going anywhere, but she’s definitely trying to tell you “I am feeling really pissed off” right now.
Do you know when a pig twists her tail? Well you can either watch a nature program on pigs or trust me when I say “now things are getting really hard.”
Apparently you are struggling to understand what is going on, so do you want me to draw you a diagram?
Yeah, ’cause that’s how strong we are.
First things first, the trunk is your face. It may be considered a physical threat, but for now we’re just asking if that’s where you want to take it.
A racing mackerel is the mackerel that thinks he can swim faster than all the other mackerel. Are you really trying to outsmart all the other fish?
“How is that even related?”
This isn’t a suggestion for free or paid sex, it’s more like a suggestion. You should leave before you get something else for free.
Don’t push it.
I’m not really shitting myself, there’s just no other way to say “I couldn’t care less.”
This one isn’t aimed at you, but more at the situation. And most likely if you are hearing it, you’ve pissed off someone as old as your grandparents. Salazar was a dictator who ruled the country in the last century, who did good and bad things, but one thing is certain, this article would not have happened in the time of Salazar. 