1. Fail to know how to make a proper cuppa.
Tea does not come with hot milk. Why on earth is that so difficult to understand?
2. Fail to buy your round.
If you dodge your turn on a round, we are instantly offended and you are no longer welcome into the fold. In fact, just get out of the pub. You cheapskate.
3. Scream that you just love our accent.
“OH EM GEEEE, your accent is SO sexy! I LOVE an English accent!” Er… which English accent are you talking about here? The Brummie drawl or cheerie Geordie? Cockney or Cornish? Somerset or Home Counties? Y’see, there isn’t really such a thing as an English accent as it changes from region to region, county to county, even town to town.