How to Make the Perfect Scorpion Bowl

Armed with nothing but a straw each, you’ll be able to down this puppy in under half an hour, but beware – drinking too much will make your knees wobbly at best and find you making out with your best friend’s spouse at worst.

Here’s the recipe that started it all, from Trader Vic’s 1946 Book of Food and Drink:

36 ounces Puerto Rican rum (Rum Merito or Brugal suggested)
2 ounces gin
2 ounces brandy
16 ounces lemon juice
8 ounces orange juice
8 ounces orgeat (almond) syrup
2 sprigs of mint
1/2 bottle white wine.

Mix thoroughly, pour over cracked ice, let stand two hours and add more ice. Garnish with gardenias.

For those less interested in purist concoctions, All Recipes provides a more contemporary take:

3 cups crushed ice
2 fluid ounces gin
1 fluid ounce dark rum
2 fluid ounces 151 proof rum
2 fluid ounces light rum
2 fluid ounces vodka
2 fluid ounces grenadine syrup
8 fluid ounces fresh orange juice
10 fluid ounces pineapple juice
3 fluid ounces fresh lemon juice (optional)
4 pineapple chunks
8 maraschino cherries

Place the crushed ice in a large pitcher and pour in the gin, dark rum, 151 proof rum, light rum, vodka, grenadine, orange juice, pineapple juice, and lemon juice. Stir well to mix, then pour into a large, decorative cocktail glass and garnish with pineapple, cherries, and straws.

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