Photo: Blast 707 Photography

As with all languages, learning French can be a bumpy road. Here are 10 mistakes you should avoid making.

J’ai eu une petite mort.

What you think it means: I was scared to death.
What it actually means: I just had an orgasm.
What to say instead: J’ai eu une peur bleue.

Je suis excité.

What you think it means: I’m excited.
What it actually means: I’m sexually excited.
What to say instead: J’ai hâte.

Je suis plein(e).

What you think it means: I am so full.
What it actually means: I am drunk.
What to say instead: J’ai assez mangé or Je n’ai plus faim.

Je suis chaude

What you think it means: I am hot.
What it actually means: I am horny.
What to say instead: J’ai chaud.

J’ai envie de toi

What you think it means: I envy you.
What it actually means: I want to sleep with you.
What to say instead: Je t’envie.

Elle est bonne

What you think it means: She’s good.
What it actually means: She’s got a sexy body.
What you should say instead: Elle est douée.

Passe-moi les préservatifs:

What you think it means: Pass the jam.
What it actually means: Pass the condoms.
What you should say instead: Passe-moi la confiture.

Je t’introduis:

What you think it means: I introduce you to…
What it actually means: I enter/insert you.
What you should say instead: Je te présente…

J’ai bien joui:

What you think it means: I really enjoyed that.
What it actually means: I had an orgasm.
What you should say instead: Je me suis bien amusé.

Je suis une cochonne:

What you think it means: I am a mess.
What it actually means: I love sex.
What you should say instead: Je suis en vrac.

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