Photo: Blast 707 Photography
As with all languages, learning French can be a bumpy road. Here are 10 mistakes you should avoid making.
J’ai eu une petite mort.
What you think it means: I was scared to death.
What it actually means: I just had an orgasm.
What to say instead: J’ai eu une peur bleue.
Je suis excité.
What you think it means: I’m excited.
What it actually means: I’m sexually excited.
What to say instead: J’ai hâte.
Je suis plein(e).
What you think it means: I am so full.
What it actually means: I am drunk.
What to say instead: J’ai assez mangé or Je n’ai plus faim.
Je suis chaude
What you think it means: I am hot.
What it actually means: I am horny.
What to say instead: J’ai chaud.
J’ai envie de toi
What you think it means: I envy you.
What it actually means: I want to sleep with you.
What to say instead: Je t’envie.
Elle est bonne
What you think it means: She’s good.
What it actually means: She’s got a sexy body.
What you should say instead: Elle est douée.
Passe-moi les préservatifs:
What you think it means: Pass the jam.
What it actually means: Pass the condoms.
What you should say instead: Passe-moi la confiture.
Je t’introduis:
What you think it means: I introduce you to…
What it actually means: I enter/insert you.
What you should say instead: Je te présente…
J’ai bien joui:
What you think it means: I really enjoyed that.
What it actually means: I had an orgasm.
What you should say instead: Je me suis bien amusé.
Je suis une cochonne:
What you think it means: I am a mess.
What it actually means: I love sex.
What you should say instead: Je suis en vrac. 
