1. You don’t know how to dress for winter.
It’s been said no one is really cold; he just doesn’t know how to dress properly. For Texans, this is particularly true. We’re wearing shorts and a heavy jacket without layers once the temperature drops close to freezing. There’s very little chance of snow, but even if there was, good luck teaching us to dress our tires with chains.
2. You’re always talking about food.
I once had two German Couchsurfers visit me in Austin and ask about what they could do with a week in Texas. After a list that included kolaches in West, Rudy’s BBQ, Chuy’s Tex-Mex, and breakfast tacos, they came up with: “Why is it that whenever we ask a Texan about things to do, he always suggests food?”
Because it’s delicious, and no one does it better than Texas.
3. You don’t complain about the heat elsewhere.
When I first landed in South Korea in August, the sun was drying out the red peppers across everyone’s doorsteps. It was hot, humid, and over 90 degrees. Nevertheless, Dallas was well over 100 F when I left, and being in Asia felt like someone had turned down the heat.
4. You wear your pride on your sleeve.
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For better or worse, Texas is home, and we will defend it to the bitter end. Oh, you heard our state is responsible for the terrible public school books across the country? Well, we also have low unemployment and cost of living! Our defense isn’t limited to words: we’re probably wearing or own something with a Texas state flag on it. Just don’t mistake it for Chile or you’ll have a fight on your hands.
5. You probably know a few Spanish words.
Being on the border, Texas – next to California – is one of the most Hispanic states in the US, with immigrants from Mexico, Nicaragua, Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador. We may not speak the language fluently, but we definitely heard it often enough growing up to pick up a few words and phrases.
6. Along those lines, you probably know a little German and Czech.
Texas has its share of European immigrants, but none have more towns named after them than the Germans and Czechs: Nacogdoches, Fredericksburg, Frydek, etc.
7. You don’t have a problem driving long distance.
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Texas reaches over 800 miles across, leaving residents laughing at visitors who suggest going to El Paso for the weekend. I commuted between Austin and Dallas for the holidays, which is just as far as the drive from Boston to New York City.
8. You’re skeptical of Mexican food anywhere outside of Texas.
Rightfully so, too. It’s not as though we’re unwilling to accept that there may actually be decent chips and salsa in Illinois, but you’ve got to work hard to win us over.
9. Your accent slips out at the most inopportune times.
Plenty of Texans in cities don’t spout “ya’ll” and “howdy”, even amongst their friends. However, no matter how flattened our accents may appear to be from traveling internationally or working with a speech coach, anyone from New York could call us out for being a proud member of the Lone Star State.
10. You have your share of scars.
They could be from burning your thighs on a searing hot seat belt buckle in July or plowing head-first into your cousin during a friendly game of football. Even privileged Texans live rough-and-tumble lives.