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11 Fears Only Californians Understand

by Julia Kitlinski-Hong Feb 1, 2017

1. Not living in close proximity to In-N-Out.

Not being able to get an animal style burger or well-done fries on the regular is something that keeps us up at night. One of the perks of calling California our home is being able to pull up anytime to this hamburger haven.

2. Rainy weather.

It is a known fact that Californians freak out on a rainy day. Drivers become erratic, and traffic jams become a given due to the increase in accidents. Our collective moods become dreary, and we prefer to hunker down until all this misery passes. Thankfully, during the summer, rain ceases to exist in our state.

3. No affordable housing.

There is a lot of truth to the proverbial “sunshine tax,” that explains the high housing prices you pay in the Golden State. When Californians hear that they could get a spacious house in Texas for half the price of what they would pay locally, it is temping to think about moving down south. With prices guaranteed to rise in the next few years-especially in places like the Bay Area where rapid growth from tech companies is to blame-we are just trying to reassure ourselves that forking over a good chunk of our monthly salary is worth it.

4. Not being able to find organic/gluten-free/vegan food.

Healthy eating is the norm, not the exception here in California compared to other places around the U.S. When we are not able to find healthy options when we travel to new places our bodies go haywire, and we are not able to function until we find a kale smoothie or an acai bowl.

5. Disneyland being too full.

We understand that Disney World may be bigger than Disneyland, but we are mighty proud of the California version, and the place it holds in our hearts no matter how old we get. One of our biggest fears is when the park gets filled to its capacity, and we are given the green slip at the parking lot that tells us we will not be able to get in. Of course there is always Knott’s Berry Farm, but that does not even begin to measure up to The Happiest Place on Earth.

6. Seeing an empty restaurant/cafe.

As Californians, we like to torture ourselves, and wait in long lines for food, because how else would you know it is good? Waiting for an hour in the fog for Burmese food? Bring it on. A half an hour wait for a chocolate marshmallow cupcake? No problem. Where there is a line for food, we will be there.

7. No snow left when we get to the mountains.

California may be known for its lack of seasons, but that does not mean we cannot experience winter if we head up to the mountains. Our biggest concern is that that the snow will melt before we get up there, since those sunny days can make powder turn into slush.

8. Mediocre Mexican food.

California is known for its sizable Mexican population, and naturally for its delicious, abundant Mexican food. Fish tacos in San Diego, carnitas burritos in San Francisco, mole in Los Angeles-we sure are spoiled here. When we travel to other parts of the country, we are hesitant about the Mexican cuisine, unless we are in the Southwest-then all bets are off.

9. The Big One.

Earthquakes in California are a huge fear and residents are always on edge waiting for the next Loma Prieta, which shook Northern California in 1989 at a magnitude of 6.9. We have our earthquake disaster kits tucked away in our cabinets, and memories of earthquake drills from middle school imprinted in our brains (duck under your desk with your hands clasped over your neck).

10. People referring to your state as Cali.

Hearing people call your beloved home state Cali makes your ears bleed. It is California or nothing at all. Ditto for San Francisco being called San Fran or Frisco-the vocal equivalent of nails on a chalkboard.

11. An avocado shortage.

One of Californians’ worst nightmares is a bad avocado season where our unofficial state fruit is hard to come by. Without perfectly ripe avocados, our tacos would be lackluster, or toast mediocre, and our fruit bowl missing the ideal midday snack that goes well with just a pinch of salt.

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