Photo: Capture Queen

11 Fears Only Mexicans Understand

by Rodrigo Macías Nov 27, 2015
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We Mexicans are very brave people and we love to show it, but even the bravest Mexicans shudder at the thought of any of these fears…

1. The unnamable NO.

Any time a Mexican says no to anything, another Mexican drops their taco. Since we have such a strong sense of community, it’s no surprise that we run away from negative responses and that we have to invent codes to politely and positively reject some proposals.

2. The Mexican Suegra.

They say that when a Mexican woman achieves the status of Suegra, her body starts to demand food in the shape of fear.

The Suegras find the fear most delicious when it comes from a son/daughter-in-law that says yes (without really knowing why) to any of her demands.

To this day, no one has found a truly effective medicine to minimize the fear caused by a Mexican Suegra.

3. The chef daughter in-law.

A good way to weaken the powers of a Mexican Suegra is to take advantage of their natural fear of seeing their little baby being fed more sabroso by a different woman than her son’s Holy Madre.

4. The punctual friend.

Thanks to globalization, every day more and more Mexicans acquire a more realistic perception of time. These weirdos arrive at the time they say they will arrive, and that, by consequence, makes it look like you arrived even later than what is socially accepted.

The fear is stronger when that inconsiderate-arriving-on-time person arrives on time when YOU are the host…

Tell them to be normal-late! You haven’t even showered yet!

5. The juiceless lime.

When your long-waited order of tacos finally arrives in your hungry hands and you start your pre-stuffing-your-face ritual, there is nothing more horrifying than to squeeze lime after lime… and not get one single drop of juice!

Lime Lord have mercy on us!

6. The public display of enchilamiento.

Few things hit the pride of a Mexican human being harder than being the center of attention because they overestimated their capacity to handle spiciness. When this happens it leads to serious embarrassment since there is uncontrollable sweating, crying and even their face changing color. Such humiliation!

Also, if someone happened to film the episode and put the video online…nah, no one would be THAT mean to a Mexican amigo.

7. The missing salsa.

A party with loads of snacks but no hot sauce in sight? They delivered the pizza without hot sauce and we’re out of salsa valentine?

¡Ay nanita! What a horrible thought!

8. The abandoned street food stand.

Imagine waking up after a night of heavy partying and preparing mentally your hangover breakfast, using this image as motivation to gain strength to get dressed, heading towards your favorite street food stand and realizing it’s closed!

9. The bi-polar climate.

The uncertainty of not knowing if you’ve dressed correctly for the weather and knowing if you don’t, that you’ll feel like a complete idiot.

Mexico has such dynamic and diverse weather, that lots of towns and cities experience many different temperatures and climates during the same day, without any specific pattern to base your dressing choices.

There is a popular tip that says you should dress by layers to fight this fear but… Who likes to wear five layers under the heat of the sun at 12PM whilst standing up on the bus? Not anyone I know!

10. The obsolete boss.

A popular fear between not-entrepreneur Mexicans is to fall under the claws of an old fashioned boss that has a hard time distinguishing between leadership and tyranny.

11. The unhappy houseguest.

Mexican hospitality is known and respected worldwide. This is true thanks to the uncontrollable fear of Mexicans to have guests at home that don’t feel 100% happy.

“Will she need more toilet paper?”
“Should I play loud music so she can go to the toilet more freely?”

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