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15 Differences Between a Normal Friend and a Texan Friend

by Turner Wright Feb 23, 2017


A normal friend will ask you if you’d like to take a walk with him to the store.
A friend from Texas will suggest driving the six blocks.


A normal friend will end an argument by storming off.
A friend from Texas will remind you where he keeps his guns.


A normal friend will treat you to a Thanksgiving of turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce.
A friend from Texas can’t start the feast without yams and greens.


A normal friend will listen to you pour your heart out after a bad breakup.
A friend from Texas will line up the tequila shots.


A normal friend will refuse to eat the disgusting food at highway convenience stores.
A friend from Texas will grab a corndog and some mustard at the nearest Buc-ee’s.


A normal friend will relax in a chlorine-filled pool on hot summer days.
A friend from Texas will grab a six pack and innertube to float the river.


A normal friend will bore you with their lack of descriptive words.
A friend from Texas keeps you entertained with charmingly rustic expressions. Git ‘r done.


A normal friend will go to church on Sundays.
A friend from Texas will definitely go to church on Sundays, then race home at 110 mph to watch the kickoff.


A normal friend will complain about driving across state lines to visit their family for the holidays.
A friend from Texas will be on the road for three hours and settle in for more.


A normal friend will punch you in the face if things get heated.
A friend from Texas will try to roundhouse kick you to the head at least once, especially if alcohol is involved.


A normal friend probably doesn’t even know the size of his state.
A friend from Texas is always throwing out facts like Texas is bigger than France.


A normal friend watches The Walking Dead and appreciates the fiction.
A friend from Texas practices his headshots every day, waiting for the call to arms.


A normal friend will think he’s eating quality Mexican food in Kansas.
A friend from Texas won’t say anything, and instead keep all the chips and queso for himself.


A normal friend thinks he knows what quality music is.
A friend from Texas will attend SXSW and ACL, rocking out for a whole week.


A normal friend will knock on a stranger’s door in the middle of the night to get help.
A friend from Texas will look at that friend like he’s insane.

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