We don’t beat around the bush and will tell you when you’re “making no sense,” with your words, actions, or attitude. Some of us will add a “Bless your heart” to take the edge off our criticism.
The famous “Don’t Mess with Texas” signs line our highways because we want to keep our landscape clean. Not only can you be fined for littering, you’ll also lose our respect.
In elementary school, we are taught both the American and Texas pledges, and we say them every morning. We are American patriots, but we’re also damn proud to be Texans.
Where you went to college doesn’t matter — you better support a Texas team. If you’re undecided, consider which friends you’d rather see every weekend from September to December, and cheer on their teams. Saturdays are spent watching the games, eating guacamole, and drinking beer.
Though Texas soldiers lost the battle at the fort in San Antonio, the Alamo became a symbol of strength and defiance in the war for independence from Mexico. The site remains an important part of our history, and a place you must visit to understand the spirit of our great state.
When you move here, you know it’s going to be hot as Hades most of the year. Summer temperatures will hit triple digits, so you either stay inside and stop complaining or bathe in SPF 50 and float the river.
We hold the door open and introduce ourselves to strangers. We remove our hats for Sunday service and dinner. We use “sir” and “ma’am,” no matter a person’s age. We say “thank you,” even when customer service professionals are not so nice to us.
It is the quintessential dance for couples at dance halls, wedding receptions, rodeos, bars — everywhere, really.
Our cuisine has been heavily influenced by Mexican cooking styles. Spicy foods are best on hot days; they force us to sweat, which cools us down, even while our mouths are on fire. Start training your palate because we add heat to everything we eat. Tabasco or Cholula, anyone?
We’ll accept your choice to have a gun-free home as long as you respect our decision to exercise our Second Amendment privilege. You should know how to shoot, so you can come out for afternoon skeet shooting and early morning dove hunts. And you may have to rid your yard of pesky armadillos — their leathery shells make them hard as hell to kill.
Owning one may not be practical if you live in a congested area or have a long commute. Make a few pick-up driving friends because these vehicles are handy on moving day (we almost never rent U-hauls)… and for tailgate parties.
Wearing Wranglers and boots does not make you a cowboy. Ranching is a tireless job, and we tip our hats to the people who care for the 11 million Texas cattle that feed our state and nation.
These two annual events celebrate all things Texas, including food, wine, art, music, agriculture and cowboys. Competitions are held to determine which vendors have the privilege to serve their tasty concoctions (primarily deep fried) at the state fair. 