1. On the piss

Going out on the town with your mates to get drunk. Usually ends up in vomiting, questionable decisions, a hefty hangover and a serious case of beer fear.

2. On the pull

Usually an aim of the night whilst on the piss, being on the pull means to be on the lookout for a member of the opposite sex to have a drunken, bad shag with.

3. Snog

More often than not, this is what happens in a club when initiating drunken sex whilst on the piss. A snog is what we English call making out. Full-blown, tongue-wrangling kissing.

4. Shag

The end goal to being on the pull whilst on the piss. A shag is sex.“God, I can’t believe I almost shagged that guy last night. Glad I wasn’t as sloshed as last time!”

5. Sloshed

Drunk. Other words for being under the influence include: shitfaced, arseholed, trollied, legless, pissed, battered, blottoed, steaming, hammered, hanging, kaned, leathered, lashed, mashed, mullered, haggard, spangled, squiffy, lubricated, off me trolley, off me pickle, out of it, rat-arsed, pickled, ruined, wasted, razzled, slaughtered, smashed, stonkin’, trashed, tanked, tipsy, tired and emotional, canned, plastered, boozed-up, boozey, well-oiled, merry.

6. Bodge

We bodge things quite a lot here in England. To bodge something together means to do/write/make something quickly so that it’ll just about do. It usually isn’t good enough and probably won’t last, but bodging something makes life easier in the short term.

7. Telling porkies

Telling porkies means telling lies. Comes from the cockney-slang: pork-pies. Rhymes with lies. Get it?

8. Chav

Our equivalent of white trash.

9. Slagging someone off

Sounds filthy. It’s not. Slagging someone off means to bitch about and say horrible things about someone behind their back.

10. Wacky-backy

What my mother, your mother, and every other English mother in the country calls weed. You Americans call it pot.

11. Faff

When someone faffs around they are taking their time, floundering, and mincing. This means that they likely left everything they needed to do until 2 minutes before they had to walk out the door. “Oh my God, sorry we’re late. Tom was being a mincer and faffing about.” The phrase “fannying/fannying around” is also appropriate here.

12. Smarmy

We Brits love this word. Being smarmy means that you hold a certain attitude often accompanied by an air of superiority that instantly makes people hate you. Until recently, the term “smarmy git” was reserved mostly for British politicians, now however, “asshat fuckbucket” is preferred.

13. Grub

You go to the pub for some pub grub, or your mam will cook up some grub for tea. Food, not bugs.

14. Jammy


15. Slap and tickle

Another phrase for sex. “Bang,” “bonk,” “rumpy-pumpy,” and a bit of “how’s your father” are also appropriate.

16. Waffle

To talk on and on and on and on and on and on and on about nothing.

17. Taking the piss

Our British sense of humour is mostly centered around being horrible to our friends. We find this hilarious. And it’s called taking the piss. Also taking the Mick and taking the Michael can be used around younger members of the family. Nothing to do with urine, but making fun of people.