People are often surprised to find that Wales has its own language, and even more so when I explain that, no, it definitely isn’t just a “dialect of English.” A primitive form of the Welsh language was spoken as far back as 550AD, and it has evolved into a rich and colorful language over the years.

Here are the 23 funniest expressions in Welsh, and how to use them. Pob lwc i chi! (good luck!)

1. A Welsh person doesn’t say they’ll arrive in “two-shakes of a lamb’s tail” (ironically) but in “two shits.” (dau gachiad)

2. A Welsh person doesn’t tell you to “stop bullshitting,” but to “stop breaking shit.” (paidâmalu cachu)

3. Welsh people don’t tell lies, they “speak though their hat” (siarad trwy ei het) or even “through their arse.” (siarad trwy ei dîn)

4. If a Welsh person talks a lot, they are not a “chatter box,” but they “talk like a pepper mill.” (siarad fatha melin bupur)

5. Welsh people don’t just go “over the top,” they go “over the top of the dishes.” (dros ben llestri)

6. In Wales, it doesn’t ‘“rain cats and dogs,” but “old women and sticks.” (bwrw hen wragedd a ffyn)

7. Welsh people don’t just “give up,” they “give it the best” (rhoi’r gorau iddi) or they “put the fiddle in the roof.” (rhoi’r ffidl yn y tô)

8. In Wales, you don’t get stung by a jellyfish, but by the “c**t of the sea” (cont y môr) or by the more PG-friendly “wibbly wobbly fish.” (pysgodyn wibli wobli)

9. If a Welsh person is a cheapskate, they’re not “tight fisted” but they “keep a hedgehog in their pocket.” (cadw draenog yn ei boced)

10. In Wales, if something is untidy, it’s not “a pig’s ear,” but “like pigs’ feet.” (fatha traed moch)

11. In Wales, that little thing fluttering around isn’t called a “butterfly,” but a “little chicken of the summer.”(iar fach yr haf)

12. In Wales, we don’t call them “ladybirds,” but “short red cows.” (buwch goch gota)

13. If a Welsh person is “dumb” or “gormless,” they are “like a calf.” (fatha llo)

14. A Welsh person isn’t just “useless,” they are like “like a fart in a jam jar.” (fatha rhech mewn pot jam)

15. In Welsh there is no word for “dickhead,” instead, we call someone a “sheephead.” (pendafad)

16. Welsh people don’t straight-up call you stupid, they point out that “you’re not wise” (ti’m yn gall!) or maybe that you’re a “funnel.” (twmffat)

17. In Wales, you don’t have a heavy session, you have a “naughty children’s session,” (sesh plant drwg) or a “session breaking the swings.” (sesh malu swings)

18. Welsh people don’t smoke “weed,” they smoke “naughty smoke.” (Mŵg drŵg)

19. In Wales it doesn’t matter if you’re on the wine, vodka, or White Lightning, Welsh people refer to any kind of alcohol as “beer.” (cwrw)

20. In Welsh you don’t get drunk, you get “dizzy” (chwil)

21. Welsh people don’t go to the toilet, they go to the “little house” (tŷ bach)

22. When something bad happens in Wales, you don’t tell someone “not to cry over spilled milk,” you say “don’t lift your petticoat after pissing.” (paid ȃ chodi pais ar ôl piso)

23. Welsh people don’t have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, but a gender-neutral word which just means “love.” (cariad)