Photo: Uladzik Kryhin/Shutterstock

17 Signs You Learned to Drink in Texas

by Laurie Moy Apr 6, 2015

1. You are a master at solving the puzzles on the underside of Lone Star bottle caps.

2. Any place that serves a margarita smaller than your head is sub-par.

3. You consider a 12oz beer “small.”

4. You’ve asked a bartender for a pitcher and one glass.

5. You know there are two kinds of parties – those that serve Shiner Bock and those that serve Lone Star.

6. Sixth Street in Austin. ‘Nuff said.

7. You’ve bragged about the quality of Texas wines, because, you know, Texas.

8. If you drink beer from a bottle, it has to be a longneck, and you hold it with your index finger crooked around its throat.

9. If you drink beer from a glass, it is in a frosted schooner the size of a cantaloupe.

10. If you drink beer from a can, you use a koozie, and there is a good chance it is camo print. Sparkle camo if you’re fancy.

11. The two-step actually gets easier with each drink.

12. You can open a beer bottle with almost anything.

13. You’ve hidden a flask in your boots.

14. You’ve found yourself at a Whataburger after the bars close.

15. Your hangover cure includes an ice-cold Topo Chico and a breakfast taco.

16. You’ve added rum to Dr. Pepper…and probably put it in a Sonic cup.

17. Even with places like Deep Ellum, the Depot District, and the River Walk, you know the best place to enjoy an ice cold beer is sitting on the tailgate of a pickup truck.

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