Photo: Yulia Mayorova/Shutterstock

The 20 Funniest Dutch Expressions (and How To Use Them)

Humor Netherlands
Photo: Yulia Mayorova/Shutterstock
Daphne Blomsma
Jan 14, 2016

1. The Dutch don’t wake up in a bad mood…they ‘step out of bed with the wrong leg’ (Met het verkeerde been uit bed gestapt).

2. Dutch don’t only feel great…they feel ‘Chickendelicious’ (Kiplekker).

3. The Dutch don’t order a cup of coffee…they order ‘a little cup of solace’ (Een bakje troost).

4. Dutch people don’t get goosebumps when the are cold…they get ‘chickenskin’ (Kippenvel).

5. A Dutch person does not spend too much time on details…they’re ‘someone who fucks ants’ (Mierenneuker).

6. The Dutch won’t tell someone to get lost…they’ll ‘glue somebody behind the wallpaper’ (Lemand achter het behang kunnen plakken).

7. The Dutch don’t walk…they ‘“use the leg-van’ (Met de benenwagen).

8. The Dutch are not pale skinned…they are a ‘pale fart’ (Bleekscheet).

9. The Dutch don’t find things easy…rather it’s ‘a whistle of a cent!’ (Een fluitje van een cent).

10. The Dutch don’t have a misfit in a group…they have ‘a small outside leg’ (Buitenbeentje).

11. The Dutch don’t have unclarity…they ‘can’t knot any rope to it’ (Er geen touw aan vast kunnen knopen).

12. The Dutch won’t say “It’s okay”…they’ll assure you “It sits like a moustache” (Het zit wel snor).

13. The Dutch don’t have hindsight…they’ll say “after it is easier to look the cow in the ass!” (Achteraf kijk je een koe in z’n kont!).

14. They also don’t have clarity…they’ll say “the monkey is coming out of the sleeve” (Nu komt de aap uit de mouw).

15. A Dutch person won’t comfort you by saying “it’s going to be alright”…they’ll say “nothing on the hand” (Niets aan de hand).

16. A Dutch person who doesn’t care what they look like in their hometown won’t comment…they’ll say “who knows my ass in Keulen?” (Wie kent mijn kont in Keulen?).

17. The Dutch won’t tell you to own up to consequences…they’ll say “when you burn your butt, you need to sit on the blisters” (Wie zijn billen brandt, moet op de blaren zitten).

18. The Dutch don’t compliment the chef…they’ll say “it’s like an angel is peeing on my tongue” (Alsof er een engeltje over je tong piest).

19. A Dutch person won’t invite you for a night of romance…they’ll invite you ‘to eat rusk’ (Een beschuitje met iemand eten).

20. A Dutch person won’t find something uninteresting…they’ll find it ‘far from my bed show’ (Ver-van-mijn-bed-show).

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