1. You drive straight past a Buc-ee’s without stopping.
Just keep going until you pass the state line, please.
2. You ask people to stop calling you “ma’am” or “sir”.
Do you want them to stop chewing with their mouths closed, too?
3. You think Dublin Dr. Pepper is from Ireland.
4. You think you can drive across the state in one day.
Good luck with that.
5. You’re not really sure what a Kolache is.
6. You pronounce Houston as How-ston.
This isn’t Newyak.
7. You don’t say “y’all.”
8. You call queso, “cheese dip”.
9. You think Taco Bell is Mexican food.
That’s pretty much a felony in Texas.
10. Then you claim you’re tired of eating Mexican food.
Are you also tired of living?
11. You’re shocked by how urban it is.
We do understand that we have 3 of the 10 biggest U.S. cities, right?
12. You ask why people are pulled over on the side of the road taking pictures with flowers.
13. You buy anything but Bluebell at the Grocery Store.
14. You think George Straight is just some country singer.
When we all know he’s the King of Texas.
15. You try to buy movie tickets to somewhere other than Alamo Drafthouse.
You might as well stay in with the power turned off.
16. You don’t understand why people are so obsessed with Selena Gomez.
17. You go to the Texas State Fair for the rides.
That’s fine. More fried goodness for the rest of us.
18. You think the two step is just a simple little shuffle.
And that the pretzel is just a salty treat.
19. You don’t know why Six Flags is called Six Flags.
Spain. France. Mexico. The Republic of Texas. United States of America. Confederate States of America.
20. You think a chicken fried steak is actually chicken.