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24 Struggles of Living in Texas

by Turner Wright Dec 2, 2016

There’s no question why anyone would choose to live in Texas: we’re really big, we have the best BBQ – screw you Kansas City – and all our residents are loud and proud.

I was born and raised in Dallas, went to the Hill Country for holidays, and attended the University of Texas at Austin (go Longhorns!). Through this time, I’ve had the experience of growing up in the suburbs of the Lone Star State and seeing what makes Texans tick. We’re not all characters in Dallas (the TV show, not the city, you Philistine). Texas may not have the parking problems of New York City or the ice anywhere north of the Mason-Dixon Line, but there are certain aspects of our state that make us second guess sticking around. Well… there’s always a road trip to New Orleans.

1. Swallowing sadness when walking into a Luby’s.

2. Trying not to stop at Exit 353 to stuff yourself with kolaches.

3. Ignoring streakers in Austin.

4. Wanting to go outside in the summer, but wanting to keep your clothes sweat free for two minutes as well.

5. Driving from Austin to Dallas and back on OU Weekend.

6. Planning on Tex-Mex on a Tuesday, then realizing the wait will last until Wednesday.

7. Trying not to crash as you laugh from the latest El Arroyo sign.

8. Driving everywhere, even when your destination is a five-minute walk.

9. Ignoring the George W. Bush “Miss me yet?” billboards that have been up since 2008.

10. Putting on winter clothes in the morning, only to have the temperature rise thirty degrees by noon.

11. Stopping racoons from eating your pets’ food.

12. Walking back to your car after a Rangers game, being sure to bring extra food and water for the trip.

13. Repeatedly denying you shot JR and Kennedy.

14. Trying to convince outsiders Chuck Norris isn’t really rampaging through Dallas maintaining law and order.

15. Remembering Lance Armstrong is still ours…sigh…

16. Filling up on chips and salsa, not really craving a full meal afterwards.

17. Avoiding getting scalded by the seatbelt buckle on a summer day.

18. Eating Blue Bell even after you heard about the listeria outbreak, because it’s Blue Bell.

19. Choosing a team when you have family members from Tech, A&M, and UT.

20. Road trips to play blackjack. Seriously, why should anyone have to drive all the way to Oklahoma or Louisiana?

21. Questioning why you just can’t drive over and ask NASA for a ride to the Moon.

22. Feeling compelled to show outsiders you can ride a horse… even though you suck at it.

23. Attending family reunions in the middle of nowhere. Not even a Dairy Queen in sight.

24. Staying under 300 lbs.

Nevertheless, we’ve got history on our side:

“You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas.”
– Davy Crockett

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