1. They’re not as good as us, although they think they’re better.
For centuries, the English threw their weight around building an empire that would eventually fall. And our green little oasis was an easy target, so for 800 years we suffered oppression, starvation, and death at the hands of the Brits. However, we’re a forgiving people, and have let bygones be bygones. Not that they appreciate it, of course. The English still like to treat us like their lesser cousin, calling us “Paddy” and taking the piss out of us with universally terrible Irish accents. But they shall not smite us. Through it all we have turned the other cheek to our fiercer neighbours and come out all the better for it; everyone loves us, but nearly every other country has a beef with them. So who’s laughing now, ye limey bastards?!