For Father's Day: This Guy Wins Funniest Dad of the Year

5-year-old: I wish we all had infinity dollars

Me: That’d wreck the economy

5: I just-

Me: Go to your room until you understand inflation

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 7, 2015

Breakwell’s daughters are on board with him using their quotes for Twitter, he told Buzzfeed, “mainly because it’s all about them.”

4-year-old: My best friend is a dragon.

Me: I thought your best friend was a magic pony.

4: The dragon ate him.

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 16, 2016

His wife, he says, is “grudgingly tolerant” of his Twitter account. “She was well-aware I was a jerk when she married me, so my tweets haven’t changed her opinion of me in the slightest.”

Pregnant wife: What should we name the baby?

Me: Let's ask Twitter

Wife:*death glare*

Me: I'll take that as a yes pic.twitter.com/LNAT3vjxHY

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 31, 2015

4-year-old daughter: *points to a dead squirrel on the road* He was a boy.

Me: How can you tell?

4-year-old: He was stupid.

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 23, 2015

On top of the Twitter account, he has a webcomic called Unfridgeworthy, in which he turns his daughters’ drawings into comics.

Me: What happened to Ken?

5-year-old daughter: Zombies. pic.twitter.com/frJHM6MZPc

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 20, 2015

Are gender roles nature or nurture?

All I know is I bought my daughter a Lego cupcake set & she built a lightsaber. pic.twitter.com/QZSt20yrcs

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 30, 2016

They also do the cutest impression of Liam Neeson in Taken you’ve ever seen.

My wife said I should record more family videos of the kids.

She should have been more specific. pic.twitter.com/GFBJg8XTsC

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 19, 2016

The term “dad joke” is usually meant as an insult. James Breakwell is elevating that craft, and for that, we award him the Father’s Day “Funniest Dad” award for 2016. Happy Father’s Day, everyone.