How to Inflate a Portlander's Ego

3. Compliment them on their wide beer-vocabulary, forged in the nation’s microbrew capital.

Lights are still on in our neck of the woods and now it's time for a Winter Warmer. #pdxtst

A photo posted by Hopworks Urban Brewery (@hopworksbeer) on Dec 11, 2014 at 6:08pm PST

4. Meet their kilted, darth-vader-helmet-wearing flaming-bag-pipe-playing unicycle jaunt with applause. They’re “keeping it weird,” after all.

5. Tell them how impressed you are that they maintain a 9-to-5 AND an exotic backyard garden with several chickens.

6. Tell them how much you admire their commitment to their four-legged-friends and quirky-pet-culture.

7. Tell them you’d rather drink a “large Stumptown Hair Bender” than a “Venti Americano-Doubleshot” any day.

Stumptown Hairbender is always a good time @stumptowncoffee #coffee #stumptown #portland #oregon #espresso #cafe #latte #latteart #westcoast #seattle #ristretto #roasters #vsco #vscocam #iphonecamera #travel #backpacking #baristalife #barista #breville #brooklyn

A photo posted by Jordan Alejandro (@clocklesswatch) on Feb 26, 2015 at 12:12pm PST

8. Compliment them on their impressive facial hair, and tell them they could totally win the World Championships the next time it rolls through town.

9. Let them tell you about the merits of kale and the evils of fluoride in the water.

10. Compliment them on their “flow.”

Summer poi spinnin at the Rhododendron Garden. #poi #stopdropnspin #portlandflow #portlandpoi #portlandOR #flowarts

A video posted by Jasper's Gypsy Wire Jewelry (@jgwirejewelry) on Jun 13, 2015 at 1:54pm PDT

11. Ask them to take you on a sightseeing tour… of the old-growth forests.

12. Tell them that “zoobombing” definitely beats going to any amusement park, hands down.

13. And finally, tell them their smile is the only sunshine you need (note: this is particularly effective during the months of February-April)