16 Things Mexicans Are Born Knowing How To Do
1. Using tortillas as silverware.
2. Improvising quesadillas at any moment of the day.
3. Using diminutives to remove any possible negative connotation of certain words… “¿Un tequilita?”, “¿Un cigarrito?” or the favorite of many ladies: “¿Un postrecito?”
4. Knowing the difference in time between “ahorita mismo” and “ahorita voy”.
5. Twisting the truth when someone asks: “which is the least spicy salsa?”
6. Solving domestic problems with unusual resources. Like our ingenious anti-burglary system that secures doors with coiled wires instead of traditional locks.
7. Supporting our friends. If you are good friends with Mexicans you will never lack some friend-love when life sucks. For example, they will cheer you up by offering you something boozy or giving you their time so you have someone to vent to, and in the worst case scenario…they will help you plan revenge!
8. Being good guests. If you invite Mexicans to crash at your place, they will probably: make their bed, offer to wash the dishes and, depending on their skills, it’s possible that they’ll fix some small domestic problem at your place as a thank you.
9. Knowing how to dance cumbia (at least the basic steps!).
10. Choosing the perfect moment to slam your face in your own cake.
11. Finding the funny side of anything, as hard as it seems. I have never attended a Mexican funeral where I haven’t heard at least one joke related to the muertito.
12. Having good manners. We always say “por favor”, “gracias” and respond “de nada”, or its confusing alternative “¿de qué?”.
13. Erasing our own bathroom memories of how bad it went the last time we ate what we are about to eat, and drank what we are about to drink. We love to forget so we can pig out happily!
14. Coming up with reasons to gather with family or friends, as irrelevant as these reasons may seem. New car? Let’s go to the remojón! Are you about to leave on a 3-week trip? Sounds like a good-bye party!…and that’s how it goes…
15. Exaggerating events in our stories. Like that time you met one of your hundreds of girlfriends after you waited for hours in a super-long line, only to be able to say hi to her, the smiliest cashier that you have ever seen in your life.
16. Understanding, when other Mexicans say “yes”, whether they are actually trying to say: “thanks”, “stop bothering me”, “I will think about it”, or “NO”.