We’ve all encountered these self-entitled, self-loving douchebags. Here are the top ways in spotting the worst of the worst in a nightclub. These are our RED FLAG ALERTS!
1. He’s wearing sunglasses in the club. His future is probably not very bright, so the idea of wearing glasses in a club screams “HE’S A DOUCHEBAG!”. He’s either hiding that he’s wasted, rollin’ on molly, or just an outright idiot.
2. He’s drinking straight from the bottle of champagne at the VIP table like he’s a frat boy.
3. He’s taking pictures with his friends or with girl throwing up the peace sign or pointing at the person he’s taking a picture with (or himself).
4. He’s a 30k millionaire and he’s trying to inflate his ego and act like he has money. He thinks it’s a good idea to cash in his hundred for 5 dollar bills and begins to make it rain and throw the money into the crowd.
5. He has a blown out haircut that also can be used as a weapon for stabbing when in roid rage fights.
6. He is wearing a tight, low-cut t-shirt to display his pecks and cleavage. This is the guy who thinks he’s prettier than you. The deeper the cleavage, the bigger the douche.
7. His tan is brighter than the orange you ate for breakfast. Maybe he’s color blind?
8. He’s seen walking around the club trying to pick up every single girl. His objective is the law of averages: he figures he will finally score with someone as long as he macs on enough girls.
9. He has a YOLO tattoo or even worse, a sun tattoo around his navel.
10. He won’t stop talking about how much money he makes. He also pulls out his iPhone and proceeds to show you photos of his cars that were clearly ripped off the internet.
11. His shirt or jeans has any of the following attached to it: beads, sequins, rivets, pins, gems, rhinestones, studs, metallic paint, or crystals.
12. He’s wearing a shirt, tank-top, or hat that says “I love sluts” or “I party with sluts.”
13. He’s wearing a wife beater/tank top in a nightclub.
14. He has patterns of any sort in his haircut or beard.
15. He’s wearing rosary beads or any other religious paraphernalia, yet has no religious affiliation, except for praying for forgiveness for bringing home a “grenade” last night.
16. His dance moves include fist-pumping and grinding women from behind.
So there you have it. Guys, we love you but we are tired of answering the phone from the past. 2005 called and they want their douchebags back.
Compiled by Lisa Millar-Jones and the crew at Caprice Nightclub and republished here with permission.
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