1. You still know the tune that accompanies the phone number of 081-811-8181 and also sadly 0891 50-50-50.
2. You know which side of the Take That / East 17 and the Blur/Oasis battle you were on…and you probably still hold firm to it.
3. You grew up thinking that SodaStreams were possibly the coolest thing in the world.
4. You remember TV quiz shows where the top prize was not a life-changing sum of money, but was dished out more like this:
A man dressed as a BHS mannequin counts out 180 quid in used tenners before posing the dilemma, “Trevor and Denise, you’ve got the sunbed and the coffee percolator — they’re yours to keep — but do you want to gamble that one hundred and eighty pounds for a chance to take that speedboat back to Bolton.”
5. Getting gunged seemed like a real possibility.
6. At the age of 8, your entire social status rested on how many colourful plastic dummies / trolls / rubbers you had.
7. Blank tapes and videos were sacred and usually used to record the Sunday Night Top 40 or your favourite band on the Smash Hits Poll Winners’ Party.
8. Your prize possession was your extensive collection of Now That’s What I Call Music cassettes.
9. Bouncer seemed like a perfectly normal name for a dog.
10. And Mrs Mangle was the biggest villain you knew.
11. You can remember the next line to this: “Have you ever, ever felt like this. When strange things happen…”
12. You would have given anything to get a chance on the Crystal Maze.
13. You got ready for school every morning in front of Big Breakfast.
14. You definitely owned at least one of the following: rollerblades, a Head Bag, a Funfax, Reebok popper tracksuit bottoms, and Fila Trainers.
15. The day you first stepped out in a shell suit you thought there was no one cooler than you.
16. You still think nothing on TV today beats Art Attack with Neil Buchanan.
17. Your first computer took about a day to turn on and another week to load your favourite game before it got stuck and you had to start all over again…
18. You wanted to live in Beverly Hills 90210 and to hang out at the Peach Pit.
19. Mr Blobby was a key part of your Saturday night entertainment and Ed the Duck and Gordon the Gopher took the morning slots.
20. You had a Tamagotchi for a week or so before it got lost down the back of the sofa and the poor thing ‘died’.
21. Girls definitely had the Rachel Cut and teamed it with a pleated skirt and a t-shirt with a heart on it, jacketed casually with a lumberjack shirt.
22. Boys had curtains teamed with high-waisted jeans and a Day-Glo t-shirt tucked in and that lumberjack shirt tied round the waist like Joey.
23. You knew Ricki Lake only as a talk show host and Blossom before she became a nerd.
24. You thought crimped hair was the coolest and you ruined your baby-soft locks with the evil that was Sun-In, giving yourself orange hair for the next year.
25. You still know all the words to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air rap and The Bartman.
26. You remember when Monster Munch really packed a punch and when Salt and Shake crisps still existed.
27. You first got drunk on a bottle of super sweet Hooch or an equally cloying Bacardi Breezer.
28. And the first cigarettes you bought were in a ten pack that you bribed some poor passer-by to buy you with a handful of coppers.
29. In the only pub in town with a late license, every Saturday night on the dance floor you got knocked down — but you got up again before being way too sexy for the song.
30. In your day, penny sweets really were a penny and getting pic ‘n’ mix was the best thing ever!