Photo: Cabeca de Marmore/Shutterstock

7 Signs You Are Single in LA

Los Angeles
by Hana Nobel Jul 11, 2017

1. You’ve seen B-list stars on Tinder.

When you’re swiping right in the Los Angeles vicinity, it’s pretty likely you’ll see some familiar faces. No, not just friends, but some people from the small screen. Though most of them won’t list their famous past, you’ll know Viper from Full House or a member of Real World Season 10 when you see them.

2. You’ve been to Griffith Observatory on a date…or five.

Even before La La Land showcased Griffith Observatory as a dreamy date spot, you already had four second dates there just last year. Since it’s basically LA’s giant version of a hookup hill, you’ve gone up there for a hike, a killer view, and to make out.

3. You rule out potential love interests based on their neighborhood and traffic.

You met a cute guy at the bar, but when he mentions he lives in Santa Monica, you know commuting for late night hang-outs from Silverlake just won’t work. You’ve changed all your dating apps to make sure you aren’t matched with anyone more than 10 miles away. Maybe you’ll make sacrifices for love, but getting on the 405 or 10 isn’t part of those sacrifices. Anyway, you’re mostly seeking a potential mate to be eligible for the carpool lane.

4. You know all the 24-hour restaurants — because you’re not rushing home to anyone after a late night.

When you’re dancing in WeHo, you’ll head to Canter’s Deli at 2 am. When you’re downtown, you know The Original Pantry Cafe is the best spot for late late-night snacks. When you’re not headed home with a significant other or even going to a booty call, you have all the time in the world to enjoy a midnight omelet. Your single radar is great at tracking late night eats, but not great at tracking eligible hook-ups.

5. You have a list of all the cheap or free date options.

You’re tired of wasting money on first dates, so your new go-to is skipping a fancy dinner and doing something that costs less. (Hey, paying rent in LA requires a government grant You have a spreadsheet (or at least a mental one) of all the places to recommend when someone says, “What should we do?” You’re a regular at UCB comedy shows (just a few bucks), know the walk on Venice Beach like the back of your hand (free), and know every happy hour special on the East Side.

6. Your dating profile has a professional headshot that was used for an audition once.

And, so does everyone else’s. You didn’t get the part, but at least you got a dating profile picture that makes you look damn good and as though you have the money to be spending on headshots.

7. You’ve tried out for a reality dating show.

Your friends, your mom, and your roommates have all set you up on failed dates. In LA, there’s always casting going on, and much of that casting is an opportunity to look for love. The Bachelor Mansion is close by in Agoura Hills, and you’ve considered that as a last option.

Discover Matador