1. What do you call your drink?
Let’s set aside your drink preferences — though not being familiar with Texas beer would be a dead giveaway. Many Americans use the terms “soft drinks,” “carbonated beverages” — with “soda”, “pop”, and “soda pop” being regional dialects. Texas may be the home of Dr. Pepper, but that doesn’t mean the majority of its residents call it that. When you want a soda in Texas, just ask your friend to, “Grab a couple of Cokes.” S/He might bring back nothing but Coca Cola, but chances are there will be a variety: Pepsi, DP, Mr. Pibb, Sprite. In Texas, every soda is Coke.
2. Winter attire
Anyone from the northeast or near the Rockies knows how to properly dress for a proper winter, but not how to do it here. Sometimes the temperature actually does get low in Texas, but don’t expect locals to have the right clothes to protect more than once.
3. Size of your meals
It’s a little-known fact that in addition to “supersize” choices in fast food restaurants, there are often “Texas-size” options, more than 3-4 times the smallest size. Not being able to hold your own when it comes to “decent”-size portions will give you away. Good luck staying fit.
4. You don’t water your foundation
In addition to heat-related things transplants may have never had to deal with – like turning off the A/C in your car when it starts overheating in an I-45 traffic jam – the soil around your home can shrink so much in the Texas sun, you’ll have to water it to make sure your living room doesn’t become a viral sink hole story.
5. Transplants freak out a lot more
Before they even arrive, most of their associations with Texas are limited to unfavorable news stories and Hollywood movies. Not all Texans are brandishing weapons, and not every hurricane is going to wipe Houston off the face of the Earth.
6. Public transportation
Depending on where you’re from, you probably noticed Texas (aside from Dallas… but not really) doesn’t have much in the way of a mass transit system. While transplants can’t stop whining about how easy it would be to just install a rail line right here, locals are also whining… about all the construction and traffic brought on from trying to construct a public transit system.
7. Your choice of breakfast
If you don’t have a favorite breakfast taco shop picked out and ready to recommend to friends, you’re definitely not settled in Texas.
8. When you buy your alcohol
Anyone who’s not from Texas doesn’t know that when they offer to host a party on Sunday for the big game and wait until that morning to stock up on booze, they’ve messed up – big. True Texans, regardless of finances, always have an emergency supply of beer, or at least are knowledgeable enough to buy it a few days before the partay.
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