1. You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas.
Davy Crockett might already be dead and buried, but that doesn’t mean his style of speech has to disappear when the Earth decides to explode. What better way to spend your last days than heating some BBQ by eternal hellfire?
2. Hotter ‘n hell.
Though this is usually a cycling race in North Texas in August, the organizers might be willing to settle for a sporting event in the aftermath of the ultimate global warming…the change in temperature may not even be noticeable.