In Great Britain, you don’t shot put, you wang Wellies. Or at least that’s what this infographic, put together by HolidayCottages.co.uk, suggests. Below is a list of some downright bizarre (eating stinging nettles?) traditions and games and where you can find them on the island. After a quick look over, we think you will agree: it is time for us to organize the Great British Olympics!
1. Waen Rhydd Peat Bog, Llanwrtyd Wells, Powys
Swimming in a bog… competitively?
2. Five Oaks, West Sussex
Racing lawn mowers has pretty broad appeal.
3. Ramsbottom, Greater Manchester
In which competitors knock stacks of pastries off a ledge with blood sausage.
4. St Ives, Cornwall
Having an entire town of teenage boys fight over a chunk of silver sounds like the surest way to break everything.
5. Inveraray, Argyll and Bute
It’s sort of like tossing a massive javelin, but you get to wear a kilt.
6. Upperthong, West Yorkshire
Damn right it’s time to consider chucking rain boots haphazardly across a field a sport.
7. Olympia, London
It’s like normal horse racing, except everything is tiny and adorable!
8. Swaton, Lincolnshire
Gently tossing an egg to your friend sounds like a wonderful way to spend a weekend afternoon. I’m in!
9. Tetbury, Gloucestershire
Because running between pubs with a sack of wool used to be a sure way to impress a lady.
10. Peterlee, County Durham
Using a hardboiled egg to break someone else’s hardboiled egg is such an endearing competitive sport that I almost cried watching the 2013 finals.
11. Marshwood, Dorset
It’s like the Coney Island hot dog contest except competitors are just straight-up eating stinging nettles. So, you know, totally insane.
12. Fenny Bentley, Derbyshire
Just taking footsie to a whole new absurd, borderline Salvador Dali surrealist level.
You absolutely rock, Great Britain.