Photo: Dean Fikar/Shutterstock

How to Confuse a New Mexican

New Mexico
by Zoe Baillargeon Apr 30, 2018

New Mexico is pretty awesome. We have green chile, beautiful sunsets, and a righteous sense of superiority over Texas and Arizona. But sometimes, when tourists or guests from out-of-town come to visit, there can be a bit of a culture clash. While all the little eccentricities of living here are just regular daily happenings for us, they sometimes throw off visitors and when they ask us questions about life here or question something, it weirds us out, like these 13 examples of how to confuse us New Mexicans.

1. Knowing how a 4 way stop works.

What is this sorcery, how do you know who goes first?!

2. Using a turn signal.

What is this blinking red light that seems to indicate which way I want to go?

3. Disliking spicy food.

We literally don’t know what to feed you now. You’ll just have to starve. Or just eat the iceberg lettuce and tomatoes on the side of our enchilada plate.

4. Showing up on time.

This is the Land of Manana, nerd. Why are you rushing?

5. Saying Colorado green chile is better than Hatch green chile.

To quote Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada, “did you fall down and smack your little head on the pavement?” Why on Earth would you believe this?

6. Actually, genuinely thinking that New Mexico is a part of Mexico.

This one both pisses us off and makes our brains explode because we can’t fathom how someone can be so stupid.

7. Not going out to watch the sunset.

Fine, sit inside and don’t look at the gorgeous colors.

8. Talking about professional sports.

“Did you watch the big game last night?” “The what?”

9. Ordering food without chile.

Just, why?!

10. Asking for a Coke.

Coke means any kind of soda here. Be specific.

11. Calling them luminarias.

They’re farolitos.

12. Asking if we can turn up the AC in the house.

The what now?

13. Saying that the weather is lovely.

Really? You think so? Wait five minutes, then you’ll see.

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