Photo: newglarusbrewing/Instagram

10 Things Only People From Wisconsin Worry About

by Sarah Puckett Apr 8, 2019

Will the Packers win the game? Did I make enough cherry bounce for when the in-laws visit? Is there enough meat in the freezer? These are the burdens on Wisconsinites’ minds, and our out-of-state friends just don’t understand. Here are 10 more things only people from Wisconsin worry about.

1. How long the wait will be for a Kroll’s butter burger across from Lambeau Field

Is it better to go two hours before the game to get your fix? Or do you wait until after the game and risk waiting hours in line for your favorite post-game meal? This dilemma breaks our brains.

2. How to get Spotted Cow while out of the state

New Glarus Brewery’s most beloved brew is only sold in Wisconsin, making trips out of state painful. Do you try to carry a six-pack in your checked luggage? Hope to be able to buy a few bottles at the airport? Skip the flight altogether and drive 16 hours with a few cases in the trunk?

3. Getting to the farmers market before all the cheese bread is gone

It doesn’t matter if you spent Friday night out at the bars until closing time, everyone knows you have to get to the farmers market by 8:00 AM Saturday morning to ensure you get your loaf of cheese bread before they run out.

4. Accidentally not holding the door open for someone

Or accidentally doing anything inadvertently rude at all. Our Midwest nice nature plagues us with guilt if we aren’t constantly going above and beyond to make people feel comfortable, welcome, and impressed with our impeccable kindness.

5. Missing the meat sale at the Pig

It doesn’t matter if we already have a freezer full of meat because there is a second one in the garage for exactly this purpose. When the Pig has a sale on any kind of meat product, we don’t want to miss out. As soon as the sale paper is out, we’re on our way to the store to stock up.

6. Whether it’ll rain during your Harley ride

Oh, the freedom of endless Up North roads on a sunny day. After waiting all winter long for that first day of spring when we can get out on our bikes again, if there’s even a threat of an unexpected rain shower, we Wisconsinites get in a spin.

7. Whether your friends at church will like the booyah you made

Yes, everyone has their own booyah recipe, and yes, we all want our friends to like it. The first time you cook up a batch to sell at the church charity fundraiser, you are a nervous wreck over whether they’ll think it has made the cut.

8. Running out of beer on the boat

There’s nothing better than a day of drinking games on a boat with friends, but there’s nothing worse than running out of beer. It’s always a good tactic to make friends with the people on the next boat over if you want any hope of keeping the party going.

9. Whether the cheese curds you bought today will still be squeaky tomorrow

On the off-chance you can’t finish the bag the day you buy them, you know if there’s no squeak tomorrow, you can fry those curds up and dip them in ranch.

10. Losing your child in the Wisconsin Dells

We bet you don’t know any Wisconsin parents who haven’t spent part of their Dells vacation trying to find their child in the kiddy play area of the water park. As if that weren’t already stressful enough, adults in the kids area are an easy target for water guns and splash buckets at the hands of other mischievous kids whose parents are probably looking for them, too.

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