1. When booking a hotel, you double check to make sure the bathroom floor isn’t carpeted.
In case you need to bust out your iron and do a last-minute hot wax.
2. You strongly considered moving to Banff after seeing a job posting for a part-time dishwasher on the area’s Craigslist.
It’s so perfect because now you can get your work visa approved.
3. You missed your family reunion last summer to use your vacation days for a heli trip.
You don’t even feel bad.
4. Your interest in visiting a major city is largely determined by its handrails.
And whether you know someone there to crash with.
5. All that money you saved over summer is gone after Labor Day weekend.
The pass, the board, that sick new liner. You’re going to be scraping to make it back to Colorado in November.
6. You don’t really see anyone in the summer because you are working 80 hours a week.
You gotta do what you gotta do for the gnar.
7. You often catch yourself using words like ‘shralping’ in general conversation and have to remind yourself that no one understands you.
She was totally in to you until you wouldn’t shut up about that gnarly couloir, bro. Didn’t matter how crunchy you looked.
8. The only way you could get all your friends to show up for your bachelor party was to make it in Jackson Hole.
They still don’t actually know what a bachelor party is. It’s all good though, Corbets is waiting for you. Stoke!
9. When you hear the word Valdez, oil isn’t the first thing on your mind.
That’s the thing about AK — nothing has changed. Except for your life goals after you saw. That’s It, That’s All.
10. Just a mention of ‘I-70’ makes you shudder with dread.
These gapers are worse at driving than they are at boarding the lift. We’ve got to move back to Summit, man. I can’t handle this shit.
11. Every Autumn, you have the dream. Then the anxiety sets in.
It hit last night. You woke up in a cold sweat with my hand clutched around your bedframe. Now you’ve spent the whole day at work on YouTube watching every single new trailer with an epic case of restless leg syndrome.
12. It is going to be 70 degrees and sunny tomorrow? Damnit.
All week you’ve been waiting for it to dump but it just won’t happen. Looks like you’re going to have to wait for the next storm set.
13. You hate Shaun White.
It has nothing to do with him being better than you.
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